It probably goes without saying

So you've probably noticed that I almost never post on here anymore. Whiny is at school all day.  Master is at school three mornings a week. And I leave work at 12:30 to go to my internship.  BabyGirl is hysterical  but only when you experience her and it's hard to get it to come across in writing.  

So I'm not going to continue this blog. :(

If something happens that is post worthy, I'll post it on The Randomness of Me.  

I've really enjoyed writing this and experiencing the blog world.  So thanks for reading and participating in the craziness that is being a nanny.

Master of Disaster, BabyGirl, Whiny Magee

Not that you asked...

...but since tomorrow is New Movie Friday for me and the kids, I thought it was high time they were introduced to Star Wars.

That's right!  I'm surprised by how excited I am to watch it with them.

Touche, little man

MofD:  Jess, what's the biggest dog?

Me:  ummmm. . . I'm not sure

MofD:  Like what's the biggest kind?

Me:  Maybe a Mastiff.  Or a Great Dane

MofD:  Are they big?

Me:  Huge

MofD:  What's the biggest cat?

Me:  I think a Maine Coon is the biggest cat

MofD:  Oh, I thought it was a tiger



I was schooled by a 4 year old!

I'm famous

BabyGirl was watching "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" and there was a women in a clip with a pixie cut and dark framed glasses on

BG: that's you, Ga-ca!

**
She can't say my name because apparently Jessica is too hard for toddlers. She has many versions: Ga-ca, Ca-ca, Ah-ca. Ca-ca is my favorite

Jokester

Master of Disaster: where does a parrot get his haircut?

Me: ummm where?

MofD: a paaaarot shop. Get it!?

Me: not really

MofD: 'cause it sounds like parrot.

Me: yeah I guess;I just don't get why it's funny

MofD: ya know, like where does a sheep go for a haircut? A baaaa-ber shop.

Me: well that's actually a funny joke

MofD: where does a horse get his hair cut? A horse shop. Haha, get it!?!

Trying to explain to him that it didn't work with every animal was almost impossible

Beep! Beep!

That's the sound of me tootin' my own horn. Every year I help the kids make a Christmas present for Mom & Dad Boss. This year I'm totally and completely in love with the present. So much so, that we are making them for the grandparents too.

Shrinky Dink key chains!! Oh. Em. Gee.

quite the negotiator

Master: I'm full

Me:  Eat four more bites since you're four.

Master:  How about four and a half bites since I'm almost five

Me:  Sounds good

Do you know about other holidays too?

I was telling Master the story of why we celebrate Thanksgiving.  And yes, I realize that the "story" we learned about in grade school isn't exactly how it went down, but he's 4.

Here's a quick preschool friendly story about Thanksgiving:  A long time ago (before anyone you know was even born) in England there were a group of people called the Pilgrims.  There was also a mean king.  He told everyone that they needed to do things his way and no other way.   This made the Pilgrims sad.  So they  all got into a boat and sailed all the way across the ocean to America.  When they got there it was really cold and they were sick and hungry.  Then they met some people that already lived there, the Native Americans.  The Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to grow food and find food.  When all the food was done growing the Pilgrims had so much food they decided to have a party to celebrate.  Because the Native Americans helped them, the Pilgrims invited them to the party.

So I told Master this story and then we went over it together so he could remember it.  He informed me that The State-ive Americans helped the Pilgrims.

So close, buddy. So close

We were listening to "Jar of Hearts" in the car on the way home from school.  These are the lyrics that we had just listened to:

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how you put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You look at get me back

Master of Disaster:  Why did she say "don't come back here"?

Me:  She was mad at him

MofD:  Why?

Me:  He was a mean boy

MofD:  Oh. . .Are they married?

Me:  I don't know.  Why do you ask that?

MofD:  Well she said "kissed"

Me:  Do you think they are married?

MofD:  yeah

Where have we been?

It's been figuratively forever since my last post.  Our schedules are so crazy this year.  Whiny Magee is in 1st grade, which is all day versus his kindergarten that was half day.  I only see him for about 20 minutes in the morning before he goes to school.  Master of Disaster is  in preschool three mornings a week.  I go to my internship/class M-Th afternoons at about 1ish.  So I don't spend as much time with the kids as I use to.  

Although on Friday I was eating a Cuban wrap that was pretty spicy

Me:  Wow, my mouth is kinda on fire.

MofD:  If you're mouth was really on fire you'd be dead.

Touche, Master.

Today is also BabyGirl's 2nd birthday!  Wow!

I've been Instagramming pictures of the kids so feel free to follow me and see what shenanigans they get in to.  @RandomlyBossy

just like Mom

I change into my clinic clothes while at work.  On Tuesday, I was wearing a dress and black tights. 

MofD as he's rubbing my leg:  Hey!  My mom has those kinda pretend legs too!

Me: Oh yeah?

MofD:  Yep, they make your legs look darker too.  

It's all about the accessories

We were putting the laundry down the laundry shoot and it was taking longer than normal.  I was teaching the boys how to check their pockets and turn things right side out before putting them down the shoot.  BabyGirl has a fascination with putting on clothes.  Anyone's clothes.  So as we are going through the clothes  and checking pockets, there she was helping her self to the boys' dirty laundry.  

That's not one.  Not two.  But three pair of underwear that she "put on" and tried to walk around in.  

what are you tryin' to say??

Because I'm lazy and my job requires very little as far as dress code goes, I often let me hair dry and bring my products with me.  So today I was getting ready to head to the clinic and I was doing my hair and make-up while the boys were eating lunch. I had just finished my hair and was putting away my stuff.

Master of Disaster:  What's that blue thing in your hand?

from

Me:  It's my hair stuff

MofD: What's it do?

Me:  It makes my hair look pretty

MofD:  You're gonna put some in your hair now?

Me:  I already did

MofD:  No you didn't!


Gee, thanks!  Of course Whiny jumped in with he thought my hair looked pretty before AND after. 

summer camp rules!

The other day in my car, I was jamming out to Call Me, Maybe (as I'm known to do)

MofD:  Hey, this is just like that song I learned at camp

Me:  Oh yeah??  What was it?

Now I was really expecting some song that is no where near Call Me, Maybe.  Nothing against Master and his four year old randomness, but it is what it is.

MofD:  Hey, I just got here.  And camp is crazy.  But I'm having fun, so call Oneida (that's group at his camp).  And all the other kids, want to be us!  Cuz we're havin' fun, so call Oneida

How stinkin' cute is that??!!  Major kudos to the counselor who made that up

Scooby is that you??

The kids and I went to the park today.  We played for a bit and the boys really like to walk along the canal.  So we walked for a bit.  Actually the boys ran.  I would give them a point that they could run to and they they had to wait for me to catch up with the stroller.  Master kept calling it a "half marathon" whenever he took off. 

 Well just as we get near the park again, I see the biggest dog I have ever seen in person.  I am not much of a dog person, so I had no idea what kind of dog it was.  So I did the normal thing and asked her what kind of dog it was.  Turns out it was a Great Dane and it also turns out that I have never, in my life, seen a Great Dane in person.  I then ask her if she would mind if I take a picture of him.  Not really sure if that is good dog etiquette, but that's water under the canal bridge now.  She was super nice and asked if I wanted the boys in the picture too, and they were eager to jump in.  

When he was standing, his head came to just below her shoulders!  Yikes!! 

mushy??

The other day we couldn't find Master's water bottle from camp.  I know he brought it home because he was drinking it in the car, but Mom and Dad Boss couldn't find it.  So Master and I went to look in my car in case he left there overnight.

Master:  You look on that side and I'll look on this side (I found this funny because he wanted me to look on the side of the car that BabyGirl sits on, so it wouldn't have been there.  But whatever)


Me:  Not here

MofD:  Not here either

Me:  Look under the front seat.  Maybe it rolled under while I was driving.

MofD:  It's hard to look under there

Me:  Stick you hand under and see if you can feel it

MofD:  All I see is your cup holder under there

Me:  Cup holder?  Sweety there's not cup holder under my seat

MofD:  Yeah, it's mushy

Once he said mushy I got worried.  What is under my front seat that is "mushy?"  It couldn't be anything too gross because my car does not smell.  But still, when a 4 year old tells you there is something mushy under your seat, you get nervous.

MofD struggling to pull something out: Here it is!

What he pulled out was a can coolie (or coozie, whatever you call it) that I had actually been looking for for awhile.

Well then

So they're back!!  But the boys are at camp all week so they weren't around much today.  When I picked them from camp I was telling them about the Olympic events that I watched that day.  I was trying to explain white water kayaking.

Me:  The people are in a boat and they have to paddle around in really wavy water.  They have to go through gates.

Whiny Magee:  How do they do that?

Me:  Well they have a paddle and it helps them move the boat to where they want to go

WM:  hmmm

Me:  It's a boat big enough for just one person and their paddle has a paddle on each end

WM:  Oh.  Kinda like a kayak.

Me:  Well it is a kayak.  How do you even know what a kayak is????

WM:  I just do.  Mom and Dad showed me one once.

****
Then we were watching men's beach volleyball USA vs. Poland.  The boys were very into the game and didn't want "Polo" to win (which unfortunately they did)

WM:  Look, they have naked feet!!!

Pre-Vacation vacation

The Family had a death in the family so they had to go out of town on Wednesday.  They also are also going to Myrtle Beach tomorrow.  I was going to dog sit while they were on vacation so I offered to sit early for them since I was going to be around.

So I'm  having a pre-vacation vacation.

Sad start to a cute story, eh?

MofD:  You are staying here right?

Me:  Yes I am

MofD:  If you want to eat breakfast while you are here, you can

Me:  That's nice of you.  Thanks

MofD: And you can sleep in the living room.  There's a couch that turns into a bed in there.

Me:  Oh, is it all right if I stay upstairs in an actual bed?

MofD:  Yeah.  You can stay in Mom and Dad's room or in BabyGirl's room.

Me:  Well thank you.

who are you cheering for?

Backstory:  Mom Boss has been training for a bunch of 5Ks and I think even a half-marathon.

I was trying to explain the Olympics to the boys.  I have very intention of watching them while I'm at work, so I figured I might as well have them be excited about it too.  

This is how I explained it to them:  Once, every four years, each country picks the people who are the best at certain games.  Then, the whole world gets together and plays the games to see who is the best in the world.

Me:  Who do you think we should cheer for?

MofD:  The people that are winning?

Me:  Sure.  Anyone else?

WM:  The people from our country

Me:  Yeah

MofD:  If Mommy was trying to win the running part, I would cheer for her!

it's a tricky word

I wasn't there for this, but Mom Boss told me:

Apparently Mom Boss and BabyGirl were sitting in a chair and Master of Disaster tried to climbed in too.  While he was climbing, Master stepped on Mom Boss's downtown lady bits.

Mom Boss:  Ow!

MofD:  Oh man!  Right in the china cabinet.

Master couldn't remember the name "vagina."

china cabinet = vagina