On the way home from getting Master of Disaster from school we pull up next to a Honda Accord at a stop light.
Master of Disaster: Look at that fancy blue car
Me: Why is is fancy?
MofD: Because it's blue.
Me: Oh. Are all blue cars fancy?
MofD: Nope. Blue cars with dents are *not* fancy.
I nanny for a 1 year old girl (BabyGirl) and 4 (A/Master of Disaster) & 6 (J/Whiny Magee) year old boys. As you can imagine I hear some of the funniest things ever said. Master of Disaster actually asked me once "Jessica, why are you so bossy" And my response was,"because I'm the boss"
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
promises, promises
As you read this post, I want you to remember that Master of Disaster is three. So everything he said was accompanied by his cute little three year old face and said in his cute three year old speech impediment. And his arms were crossed in front of him most of the time.
Once again, we were making pancakes. I was trying to clean the kitchen before we started and Master of Disaster would not leave me alone. I kept telling him to go find something to do and I would tell him when it was time to make them. Finally, I told him top "bugger off"- which I know he hates.
MofD: You are the meanest Jessica ever!
Me: barely holding in my laughter What did I do that was mean?
MofD: I'm not telling you
Me: Fine. Just go find something to do
MofD: If you don't apologize I won't leave
Me: What am I apologizing for?
MofD: I won't tell you
Me: If you don't tell me what I did wrong then I can't apologize
MofD: You are being mean.
Me: How am I being mean?
MofD: You just are.
Then he wandered out of the room and I could hear him muttering about "being mean" I told him that I was going to start the pancakes. If you want to help then you need to tell me why you are sad.
MofD: How long until we make pancakes
Me: I've already started. Are you going to tell me why you are sad?
MofD: I already did
Me: No you didn't
MofD: Yes I did
Me: Well I didn't hear you. Can you tell me again
MofD: No. If you didn't hear me then I am not letting you come back here ever again
Me: Promise??
MofD: Yes!!
Once again, we were making pancakes. I was trying to clean the kitchen before we started and Master of Disaster would not leave me alone. I kept telling him to go find something to do and I would tell him when it was time to make them. Finally, I told him top "bugger off"- which I know he hates.
MofD: You are the meanest Jessica ever!
Me: barely holding in my laughter What did I do that was mean?
MofD: I'm not telling you
Me: Fine. Just go find something to do
MofD: If you don't apologize I won't leave
Me: What am I apologizing for?
MofD: I won't tell you
Me: If you don't tell me what I did wrong then I can't apologize
MofD: You are being mean.
Me: How am I being mean?
MofD: You just are.
Then he wandered out of the room and I could hear him muttering about "being mean" I told him that I was going to start the pancakes. If you want to help then you need to tell me why you are sad.
MofD: How long until we make pancakes
Me: I've already started. Are you going to tell me why you are sad?
MofD: I already did
Me: No you didn't
MofD: Yes I did
Me: Well I didn't hear you. Can you tell me again
MofD: No. If you didn't hear me then I am not letting you come back here ever again
Me: Promise??
MofD: Yes!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
can you draw. . .
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
eww
Today for lunch I made Fluffanutters. I know that the boys have never had it, so I made one sandwich just PB&J and one a Fluffanutter and I gave each of them a half. Master of Disaster was excited to hear that we were having marshmallows for lunch and Whiny Magee (who is a bit picky) was sceptical. MofD *loved* it and had a very Joker-esque face of PB and Fluff from ear to ear. Whiny Magee decided he liked it to, much to my surprise.
MofD: Maybe some day we can marshmallows with that white stuff with the blue top
Me: White stuff with a blue top?
MofD: yeah
Me: What are you talking about?
MofD: What white stuff with the blue top
Me: ummmm
MofD: the stuff that makes turkey sandwiches so yummy!
Me: Dude, that's mayo and that would be so gross
Monday, November 7, 2011
at least you know your colors
I was making BabyGirl her bottle which is a mixture of breast milk and whole milk (red cap). The rest of the family drinks 1% (yellow cap).
MofD: What color cap did that milk have? Was it yellow?
Me: no it was red
MofD: Don't you know that that's apple cider?!
Me: No it was milk
MofD: not if it had a red cap!
Me: It was milk. BG drinks a different kind of milk than you do. Does this look like apple cider??
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Not me!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
if it's *that* important
Master of Disaster: Jess can I look for something that is "bery" important to me?
Me: Sure, what is it?
Master of Disaster: ummm. . .it's something. . .uh. . .let me think. . .uh ummm. . .it's. . .it changes colors
Me: it changes colors? How?
MofD: It's a color changin', water changin' car
Me: Go right ahead and look for
MofD: you need to look for it
Me: Um no. It's not very important to me, so *you* need to look for it.
Me: Sure, what is it?
Master of Disaster: ummm. . .it's something. . .uh. . .let me think. . .uh ummm. . .it's. . .it changes colors
Me: it changes colors? How?
MofD: It's a color changin', water changin' car
Me: Go right ahead and look for
MofD: you need to look for it
Me: Um no. It's not very important to me, so *you* need to look for it.
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