Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Beep! Beep!

That's the sound of me tootin' my own horn. Every year I help the kids make a Christmas present for Mom & Dad Boss. This year I'm totally and completely in love with the present. So much so, that we are making them for the grandparents too.

Shrinky Dink key chains!! Oh. Em. Gee.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

quite the negotiator

Master: I'm full

Me:  Eat four more bites since you're four.

Master:  How about four and a half bites since I'm almost five

Me:  Sounds good

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Do you know about other holidays too?

I was telling Master the story of why we celebrate Thanksgiving.  And yes, I realize that the "story" we learned about in grade school isn't exactly how it went down, but he's 4.

Here's a quick preschool friendly story about Thanksgiving:  A long time ago (before anyone you know was even born) in England there were a group of people called the Pilgrims.  There was also a mean king.  He told everyone that they needed to do things his way and no other way.   This made the Pilgrims sad.  So they  all got into a boat and sailed all the way across the ocean to America.  When they got there it was really cold and they were sick and hungry.  Then they met some people that already lived there, the Native Americans.  The Native Americans taught the Pilgrims how to grow food and find food.  When all the food was done growing the Pilgrims had so much food they decided to have a party to celebrate.  Because the Native Americans helped them, the Pilgrims invited them to the party.

So I told Master this story and then we went over it together so he could remember it.  He informed me that The State-ive Americans helped the Pilgrims.

So close, buddy. So close

Friday, November 9, 2012

We were listening to "Jar of Hearts" in the car on the way home from school.  These are the lyrics that we had just listened to:

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how you put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You look at get me back

Master of Disaster:  Why did she say "don't come back here"?

Me:  She was mad at him

MofD:  Why?

Me:  He was a mean boy

MofD:  Oh. . .Are they married?

Me:  I don't know.  Why do you ask that?

MofD:  Well she said "kissed"

Me:  Do you think they are married?

MofD:  yeah

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Where have we been?

It's been figuratively forever since my last post.  Our schedules are so crazy this year.  Whiny Magee is in 1st grade, which is all day versus his kindergarten that was half day.  I only see him for about 20 minutes in the morning before he goes to school.  Master of Disaster is  in preschool three mornings a week.  I go to my internship/class M-Th afternoons at about 1ish.  So I don't spend as much time with the kids as I use to.  

Although on Friday I was eating a Cuban wrap that was pretty spicy

Me:  Wow, my mouth is kinda on fire.

MofD:  If you're mouth was really on fire you'd be dead.

Touche, Master.

Today is also BabyGirl's 2nd birthday!  Wow!

I've been Instagramming pictures of the kids so feel free to follow me and see what shenanigans they get in to.  @RandomlyBossy

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

just like Mom

I change into my clinic clothes while at work.  On Tuesday, I was wearing a dress and black tights. 

MofD as he's rubbing my leg:  Hey!  My mom has those kinda pretend legs too!

Me: Oh yeah?

MofD:  Yep, they make your legs look darker too.  

Monday, September 3, 2012

It's all about the accessories

We were putting the laundry down the laundry shoot and it was taking longer than normal.  I was teaching the boys how to check their pockets and turn things right side out before putting them down the shoot.  BabyGirl has a fascination with putting on clothes.  Anyone's clothes.  So as we are going through the clothes  and checking pockets, there she was helping her self to the boys' dirty laundry.  

That's not one.  Not two.  But three pair of underwear that she "put on" and tried to walk around in.  

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

what are you tryin' to say??

Because I'm lazy and my job requires very little as far as dress code goes, I often let me hair dry and bring my products with me.  So today I was getting ready to head to the clinic and I was doing my hair and make-up while the boys were eating lunch. I had just finished my hair and was putting away my stuff.

Master of Disaster:  What's that blue thing in your hand?


Me:  It's my hair stuff

MofD: What's it do?

Me:  It makes my hair look pretty

MofD:  You're gonna put some in your hair now?

Me:  I already did

MofD:  No you didn't!

Gee, thanks!  Of course Whiny jumped in with he thought my hair looked pretty before AND after. 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

summer camp rules!

The other day in my car, I was jamming out to Call Me, Maybe (as I'm known to do)

MofD:  Hey, this is just like that song I learned at camp

Me:  Oh yeah??  What was it?

Now I was really expecting some song that is no where near Call Me, Maybe.  Nothing against Master and his four year old randomness, but it is what it is.

MofD:  Hey, I just got here.  And camp is crazy.  But I'm having fun, so call Oneida (that's group at his camp).  And all the other kids, want to be us!  Cuz we're havin' fun, so call Oneida

How stinkin' cute is that??!!  Major kudos to the counselor who made that up

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Scooby is that you??

The kids and I went to the park today.  We played for a bit and the boys really like to walk along the canal.  So we walked for a bit.  Actually the boys ran.  I would give them a point that they could run to and they they had to wait for me to catch up with the stroller.  Master kept calling it a "half marathon" whenever he took off. 

 Well just as we get near the park again, I see the biggest dog I have ever seen in person.  I am not much of a dog person, so I had no idea what kind of dog it was.  So I did the normal thing and asked her what kind of dog it was.  Turns out it was a Great Dane and it also turns out that I have never, in my life, seen a Great Dane in person.  I then ask her if she would mind if I take a picture of him.  Not really sure if that is good dog etiquette, but that's water under the canal bridge now.  She was super nice and asked if I wanted the boys in the picture too, and they were eager to jump in.  

When he was standing, his head came to just below her shoulders!  Yikes!! 

Monday, August 6, 2012


The other day we couldn't find Master's water bottle from camp.  I know he brought it home because he was drinking it in the car, but Mom and Dad Boss couldn't find it.  So Master and I went to look in my car in case he left there overnight.

Master:  You look on that side and I'll look on this side (I found this funny because he wanted me to look on the side of the car that BabyGirl sits on, so it wouldn't have been there.  But whatever)

Me:  Not here

MofD:  Not here either

Me:  Look under the front seat.  Maybe it rolled under while I was driving.

MofD:  It's hard to look under there

Me:  Stick you hand under and see if you can feel it

MofD:  All I see is your cup holder under there

Me:  Cup holder?  Sweety there's not cup holder under my seat

MofD:  Yeah, it's mushy

Once he said mushy I got worried.  What is under my front seat that is "mushy?"  It couldn't be anything too gross because my car does not smell.  But still, when a 4 year old tells you there is something mushy under your seat, you get nervous.

MofD struggling to pull something out: Here it is!

What he pulled out was a can coolie (or coozie, whatever you call it) that I had actually been looking for for awhile.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Well then

So they're back!!  But the boys are at camp all week so they weren't around much today.  When I picked them from camp I was telling them about the Olympic events that I watched that day.  I was trying to explain white water kayaking.

Me:  The people are in a boat and they have to paddle around in really wavy water.  They have to go through gates.

Whiny Magee:  How do they do that?

Me:  Well they have a paddle and it helps them move the boat to where they want to go

WM:  hmmm

Me:  It's a boat big enough for just one person and their paddle has a paddle on each end

WM:  Oh.  Kinda like a kayak.

Me:  Well it is a kayak.  How do you even know what a kayak is????

WM:  I just do.  Mom and Dad showed me one once.

Then we were watching men's beach volleyball USA vs. Poland.  The boys were very into the game and didn't want "Polo" to win (which unfortunately they did)

WM:  Look, they have naked feet!!!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Pre-Vacation vacation

The Family had a death in the family so they had to go out of town on Wednesday.  They also are also going to Myrtle Beach tomorrow.  I was going to dog sit while they were on vacation so I offered to sit early for them since I was going to be around.

So I'm  having a pre-vacation vacation.

Sad start to a cute story, eh?

MofD:  You are staying here right?

Me:  Yes I am

MofD:  If you want to eat breakfast while you are here, you can

Me:  That's nice of you.  Thanks

MofD: And you can sleep in the living room.  There's a couch that turns into a bed in there.

Me:  Oh, is it all right if I stay upstairs in an actual bed?

MofD:  Yeah.  You can stay in Mom and Dad's room or in BabyGirl's room.

Me:  Well thank you.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

who are you cheering for?

Backstory:  Mom Boss has been training for a bunch of 5Ks and I think even a half-marathon.

I was trying to explain the Olympics to the boys.  I have very intention of watching them while I'm at work, so I figured I might as well have them be excited about it too.  

This is how I explained it to them:  Once, every four years, each country picks the people who are the best at certain games.  Then, the whole world gets together and plays the games to see who is the best in the world.

Me:  Who do you think we should cheer for?

MofD:  The people that are winning?

Me:  Sure.  Anyone else?

WM:  The people from our country

Me:  Yeah

MofD:  If Mommy was trying to win the running part, I would cheer for her!

Friday, July 13, 2012

it's a tricky word

I wasn't there for this, but Mom Boss told me:

Apparently Mom Boss and BabyGirl were sitting in a chair and Master of Disaster tried to climbed in too.  While he was climbing, Master stepped on Mom Boss's downtown lady bits.

Mom Boss:  Ow!

MofD:  Oh man!  Right in the china cabinet.

Master couldn't remember the name "vagina."

china cabinet = vagina

Thursday, July 5, 2012

business meeting

The Family belongs to a pool club (not sure if I've mentioned that).  The boys have been taking swim lessons for the past two weeks.  Earlier this week Whiny noticed three cars that had Florida plates.

WM: Wow there sure are a lot of people from FL here.

Me:  Maybe they are just visiting.

WM:  Maybe they live in Disney and are here for a meeting!

Me:  Or that.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

true story

Master of Disaster: Jess, my shirt says,"I did a good toss"

So close, buddy.  So close

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

too smart for his own good

Whiny Magee singing: Rain, rain, go away.  Come again another day.

Master of Disaster:  That doesn't ever work!

WM pouty: why not?

MofD:  It's just a song.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Melted crayons

I'm sure all of you have seen the melted crayon art on Pinterest.  Yesterday we made some of our very own. If you follow me on Instagram (randomlybossy) then you may have seen the "before" shots (and the "after" shot).  But here is it for your viewing pleasure.  Whiny has named his "Color Waterfall."

BabyGirl's, Master's & Whiny's

How we did it:

We (and by we, I mean I) hot glued the crayons to the top of a canvas.  I let the kids pick out what colors went where.  Actually, I did BabyGirl's.  

Then we propped them outside, leaning against the house all day.  And I do mean all day.  When we left for karate at 4ish they really hadn't melted down the canvas.  At about 4:45 Dad Boss called me to tell me that to make sure we looked at them when we got back from karate.  

Some of the crayons melted in big globs of wax but it looks really cool and the kids were really excited about them.  To be honest, I was excited too.

Monday, June 11, 2012


Master has day camp this week.  Today was his first day and he was so excited to go.  Apparently this morning he asked Mom Boss if there would be any four year old girls there.

I guess it was really important to know the truth because when he was dropped off he asked his counselor if there would be girls in his group.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


The neighbors were moving and now I guess they are not.

MofD:  Hey Jess, Matalie isn't moving anymore

Me:  How do you know that?

MofD:  We saw Matalie's dad and he told us.

Me:  It's Natalie, not Matalie

MofD:  Matalie

Me:  Natalie

MofD: Matalie

Me:  Na-Na-Natalie

MofD:  It kinds sounds like "nap."  Like maybe she naps everyday and every night.  

Saturday, June 2, 2012

take that!

We were watching some sort of TV show that was about animals and gave us all sorts of animal facts.  I thought it was pretty interesting, the boys however got bored during the second episode.

The first episode was about legs/limbs.

MofD:  Jess, everything has legs.

Me:  Really?  Everything?

MofD:  Yep

Me:  What about fish?

MofD: hmmm, no

Me:  A snake?

MofD:  No.  I said *almost* everything.

Me:  ah, no you didn't.  You said everything.

MofD:  Well, I meant almost everything.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Important life lessons

The boys have been very into street signs for awhile.  So every time we pass a "new" one they usually ask what it's for.  It's usually Master who wants to know and his "descriptions" are usually difficult to decipher.

MofD:  What's that sign with the letters on it mean? as we are driving by

Now I am a lucky driver who gets reminded every time we pass a "no U-turn" sign that I shouldn't do U-turns. And we have to drive on a divided road to go to school so you can imagine how many no U-turns signs I see.


We have also have talked about people who play their music so loud that we can hear it from inside my car.  Every time, he will tell me that that person is playing their music too loud.  I'm waiting for the day that he tells that to the person whose music is that loud.  Then I get to get some dirty looks.  Yay me!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I love when this happens

Not sure if this is a nice thing or not.  But I love when I know exactly what the boys are talking about but I pretend I don't and make them explain it better.  In my mind I think it's helping them develop their language skills.  But who knows.

So on the way to school I notice, out of the corner of my eye, that the person driving next to us was driving with his arm out the window. Well, not really out the window but with his arm resting on the open window frame.  Ya with me?  Ok, good.

MofD:  Look!! He's not turning his wheel!!

Me:  huh?

MofD:  He's not turning his wheel!  That's not safe!

Me:  What are you talking about?

MofD:  That man.  He doesn't have his hands on the wheel!

I they showed him how I could drive with one hand but he told me that he thought that the man had both hands off.

I just like that I saw what he was talking about before he mentioned it.  It saves a lot of confusion on my part and frustration on his.

Friday, May 18, 2012


 I would like you to take time to fully appreciate this picture.  That is BabyGirl.  Wearing a pair of Master's underwear.  On the outside of her clothes.  And they are Capt America underpants.  She kept trying to put them on as Master and I were putting away his clothes; so I helped her get them on and she wore them all day.

Monday, May 14, 2012

highly inappropriate

Awhile ago The Family went out of town to visit Dad Boss's parents.  The boys each packed a kid roller bag with all the toys they would want for the weekend.  Master kept referring to it as his "fun bag." And because I am super mature, I kept thinking of this:

I may or may not have mumbled that line at some point.  Then, of course, Master heard me mumble something 

MofD:  What did you say?  
Me:  Oh nothing, it was highly inappropriate

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Why can't a four year old keep a secret??

Ok, so after I wrote the title I realized that it sounded kinda perv-y.  Get your mind out of the gutters people!

For Mother's Day (actually any gift giving holiday), I always plan a craft that is mainly done by the kids to give to Mom Boss & Dad Boss.  As a preschool teacher this is easy because you can use the same project every year.  Not so much as a nanny.  So this year I bought an apron and had the kids put hand prints on it.  It came out really cute.  So of course, even though I said it was a surprise, the first thing Master says to Mom Boss when she got home was

MofD:  Hey Mom guess what......

Me:  Master! Go get your coat on

from the closet: Mom we....

Me:  Master, we're not suppose to talk about surprises remember?

MofD:  But Mom today we....

Mom Boss:  Master, don't tell me the secret.

Whiny:  There's not secret for you mom bless him

MofD:  Oh yes we do!!

Whiny:  Nope we don't

This went on for a bit until I explained to Master that it was a present and I talked to him about how exciting it is to open presents and that we should let Mom Boss be excited for her present.

Then I took it home and wrapped it.  I brought it back to work today so I wouldn't forget it (that's so me).  It was on the counter and Master said

MofD:  I know what that is!  It's the vest for mom.

Me:  Nope it's not a vest.

MofD:  What is it then?

Me:  None of your business. I'm super mature

After Master went to take a nap, I told Whiny to go hide it somewhere that Master and Mom Boss wouldn't see it.  So as he was walking upstairs he said

Whiny:  Too bad you didn't having wrapping paper the same color as those walls pointing to the dining room

Me:  Why's that?

Whiny:  Then I could just put this next to the wall and they wouldn't see it!!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


Master: Hey Jess, is it cold outside?

Me: I don't think so

MofD:  Well, why don't you check the "thermonitor?"

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Speckled? sparkled? same difference

Master:  We read a book (in school) but I don't remember what happened in it.

Me:  That's ok.  Did you do a project?

Master:  Yeah we made frogs

Me:  Wow frogs

Master:  Yeah they were sparkled frogs.

Me:  huh?

Master:  Sparkled frogs and they ate the most delicious bugs

Me:  laughing to myself  You mean they were speckled? singing Five green and speckled frogs, sat on a speckled log eating the most delicious bugs - yum yum!  One jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool, now there are four green speckled frogs.

Master:  That's how it went!!!!  

That is actually a pretty popular preschool song but Master was so amazed that I knew the song/book.

And because he always has to have the last work and is always right:

Master:  Ya know, speckled kinda sounds like sparkled.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

should I be worried

At nap time today I thought I heard the pitter patter of small feet when I should be hearing nothing at all.  So I go to the top of the stairs and hear a voice coming out of Master's room.  I go in and see the bathroom door is open (yes, he has a bathroom in his room).  I go in and shut it and he says to me, "Jess, sometimes I need to talk to myself to go to sleep."  

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Me:  Master, I'm making a grilled cheese for your brother, do you want a turkey sandwich?

Master: No I want macaroni with no cheese

Me:  I'm not making mac and cheese, I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich.  Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich?

Master: No

Me:  Do you want a turkey sandwich?

Master:  Yeah.  Or I could have a peanut butter sandwich.

Me:  Ok, what do you want to eat

Master in a really exasperated voice:  TUR-KEY!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I'm getting bigger

Master of Disaster:  Look Jess he's holding up his arm for me to see

Me:  What am I looking at?

MofD:  I'm getting hair now.  I'm already four

Me:  You've got hair on your arm now?  Now that you're four?

MofD:  Yeah, look, see

He then showed the greeter at his school how he has hair on his arm now that he is four.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

It's all about the birthdays!

Yesterday was Whiny's birthday!  

Happy 6th Birthday Whiny!

My birthday was last week and I'm a member of the Love & Envelops Birthday Club.  This is such a fun club if you, like me, liking buying cards and also like getting mail.  I'm still pretty new to it but I've enjoyed buying cards for all these fun blogging ladies. 

From left to right:
Kortney from Kortney's Krazy Life:: It's blue *and* glittery!

Melayne from Wearing Pearls in Kindergarten::  This was the first one I got and when I went to my mailbox that day I honestly said out loud, "Who the H*ll do I know in Texas?"  I totally forgot that I would be getting some cards from strangers.  

April, the founder of Love & Envelops, from Marine Parents::  funny story about this card, this was almost the same card I got her but I let Master of Disaster pick and he picked a different one.  

Kristy from A Little Something::  This one is super glittery too! 

Lauren from The Elephant's Trunk:: She.  Made.  This.  Card.  My mind is blown!

Thank you some much ladies for making my birthday special.  And thanks April for making this amazing club!

Ok, so last weekend was my blogiversary! 

Happy 1st Birthday Jessica, why are you so bossy?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I just can't decide

I'm not sure what has been my favorite part of today:

Maybe it was the when, before 8:30, Whiny was being mean to Master, so Master pinched him.  We (me & Mom Boss) talked to Master about how when Whiny is being mean come tell us.  If he pinches then he gets in trouble too

Or maybe it was literally 2 minutes later when Master kicked Whiny because Whiny was trying to pop his balloon.

Or maybe it was when BabyGirl insisted on being held all morning and had a fit when I set her down to register of classes or clean

Or maybe it was when she followed me around to make sure I knew she was mad at me

Or perhaps it was when Whiny accidentally spilled his milk but just sat there and watched all the milk pour out of the glass instead of picking it up.

It's too close to call

It's going to be a L-O-N-G Spring Break for us.

Monday, April 9, 2012

you don't work

The boys love my friend Danielle that comes when I go to school.  This week is Spring Break for the kids and they asked if Danielle was still going to come.  I told them that she was because I still have school even if they don't.  I let them know that I had a break when they were in FL, so I had no work AND no school.

Master of Disaster:  You don't have work.

Me:  I don't?

MofD:  Nope

Me:  You don't think I go to work?

MofD:  No, school is your work

Then I hear Whiny whisper  "Coming here is her work"

Both the boys and I were sick all weekend, so today we are watching Rango.  I will link to a review when we finish and I actually review it.   For your reading pleasure

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I hope not!

On the way to karate we heard a commercial for a museum exhibit that ends on April 15. April 15 just happens to be the day of Whiny's birthday party

Whiny Magee:  April 15!!!  I hope nobody that I invited to my party is going to that!


For Master's birthday, they went to Build-a-Bear and he made a Papa Smurf Build-a-Bear.  Which he will very quickly tell you is a Build-a-Smurf.  Before nap he was showing it to me and he told me:

MofD:  If you press his stomach you can hear his heart "beeping" and if you push his arm he giggles.

Me:  What?

MofD: His heart "beeps" and he giggles.

Monday, April 2, 2012

UPDATED: meanwhile, back at the ranch

So the kids were at my place again this afternoon.  While it was not as funny as last time, they did have some interesting things to say.

Master if Disaster:  Last time you had pumpkin soap!  Where'd it go?

Me:  Well I used it all so I got new soap.

MofD:  I wanna take a nap

Me:  Well I didn't plan on taking naps today; my room is really messy

MofD:  Can you clean your room for me?

MofD:  Why don't you have a family room?

Whiny:  Well this is room is her family room and her living room

Me:  And it's only me here, I don't need a family room

And just so you know, their family room is just what they call their living room, it's not two separate rooms

Twenty minutes later

MofD:  Why don't you have play room?

The reason we went to my house was so my car could go in the garage for the afternoon.  We dropped it off, went out to lunch and then walked to my house. I've walked from the garage to my house before.  It's not super close, but it is definitely in walking distance.  Well I failed to think about how a 4 and 6 year old would be while walking that far.  The place we went to eat was literally a block away from the garage.

Whiny:  Man this sure is a far walk to lunch!

It ended up taking us 45-60 min to get to my house due to the speediness of Master and Whiny.  At one point, Master suggested I take BabyGirl out of the stroller and carry her so he could ride in the stroller.  Nice try kid!

Friday, March 30, 2012

hmmm awesome or inappropriate?

Today Master wanted to play Nerf guns, so I got the guns down (I keep them up high so it can be my choice to play with them or not) and we shot with "sticky bullets" in the play room.  Then we start stalking around the house to find "Bad Guys."  Which for some reason I never got to shoot.  My bullets never hit them but Master's always did. At least according to Master.  So finally I started to shoot right behind him every time he "reloaded" his gun.

Me:  Wow that was lucky.  There was a bad guys right behind you but I got him.

MofD:  I didn't even see him!

Then we continued to look for Bad Guys and shoot them.  At this point Master was double fisting guns.

Me:  Why are these guys Bad?

MofD:  something something blah blah...and lava comes out their noses!

Me:  Oh yikes!

I have to admit it was pretty fun.

And I may or may not have taught Master to say "lock & load" when your gun is ready to shoot.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I never would have guessed

I'm upstairs changing BabyGirl when Master comes upstairs to tell me something.  And now I forget what he had to tell me, but I know it was nothing too important.

After he tells me what he needed to tell me:

Master:  Hey Jess, I'm up here.  "here" meaning upstairs  Did you know that?

Me:  No.  I never would have known that

Master:  Why wouldn't have known that?

Me:  I just wouldn't have until you told me, thanks.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I can read too!

We went to the zoo the other day and on the way we had this conversation.

Whiny Magee:  Hey look there's a sign right there that says "Zoo."  It says we should go that way.

Me:  Good job reading that sign.

Master of Disaster:  I can read too.  "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."  See, I just read that.

Me:  Well I don't think you actually read that anywhere, but good job.


Also I highly recommend you give 4 and 6 year olds chicken wings to eat.  It's pretty hysterical!

Monday, March 19, 2012

what friend?

Me:  Hey, Whiny, pick up your room and then come downstairs.  It's nap time but Whiny doesn't sleep he has "quiet time"

WM:  Ok

Me:   Wow you have a lot to clean  up my friend

WM:  What friend??

Me:  You.  You're my friend.

WM: Oh

Friday, March 16, 2012


Today a leprechaun gave me socks this morning to wear.  They have green and black stripes with shamrocks on them.  Master was excited about this.

So when I woke him up from nap today he said "you're *still* wearing those socks!?"

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

help me remember

Me:  Master, you going to tell all your friends about what you did last week?

Master of Disaster:  What did I do?

Me:  What?!  Where did you go last week?

Master of Disaster: I don't remember, tell me

Me:  Well, I went to NYC but where did you go?

MofD: ummmmmm Boston?

Me:  You didn't go to Boston, crazy!  Where'd you go?

Finally he remember that he went to Florida

Me: So you gonna tell them about it

MofD:  Nope, I want it to be a secret

Me:  ummm no, you should tell them if they ask about it

MofD:  What if they don't ask?

Me:  They will

MofD:  But what if they don't

Me:  I'm pretty sure they missed you and they will ask about Disney

MofD: What if they don't

Me:  Well if they don't ask then you don't have to tell them

MofD:  What if they have been to Florida and they know all about it

Me:  Like I said, if they don't ask about it you don't have to tell them.

So we talked about Disney the whole way to school so he could remember things to tell them, but when he got out of the car his teacher asked where he went  he looked at me and said:

MofD:  Help me remember

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

give me a break!

Ok guys, "my family" is on vacation this week.  Fortunately that means so am I.  Unfortunately that means that nothing funny is happening for me to write about.

Although I will tell you that Whiny loves NYC and was jealous that I got to go and he was only going to Disney. So we decided to send each other post cards and that would make the world right again.  If only all problems were that easy to solve.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It'll eat you!

I'm attempting to get some work done for school, silly me, when I hear Master of Disaster yelling for me from his room.  I go upstairs figuring he went potty and needs some helping wiping.  But no, he's on his bed crying.

Me:  What's wrong?


Me:  Where?

MofD: There!  pointing at his window

Me:  I don't see it

MofD:  Pull that up the shade

I do and there is no bug.

Me:  It's gone


Me:  What?  Did it turn invisible?

MofD:  What if it did????

Me:  Well you can't see it so it'll be ok

MofD:  WHAT IF IT EATS ME!!!!????

Me:  heavy sigh Want me to get some bug killer?

MofD:  yeah

So I go and get a bottle of Frebreeze and spray the windows

MofD:  That's not bug spray, that's "smelling stuff"

Me:  Yeah but look right here I point to some words on the back It says "Will kill bugs"

I'm so glad he can't read yet

Saturday, February 25, 2012

everybody wins!

It's February break and it's been a long week.  I don't want to take the boys anywhere "public" because everyone is out and about with kids off from school.  Yesterday we had a play date with my friend Danielle and her girls.

They came over to play for a couple of hours and then we had lunch.  The boys were super excited to have a play date and the girls were a little shy at first.  New house, new toys, two overly excited boys jumping around and yelling.  So they finally got into the swing of things and then it was time for lunch.  We made English Muffin pizzas and each got to make their own.  Whiny and my friend's oldest had cheese pizza.  Master wanted just pepperoni and no cheese (surprise) and her youngest wanted "grilled cheese" with yellow cheese.  So everyone was eating and being silly and having fun

Whiny:  Hey, there's two girls and there are two boys!  We each get to have one!

Not sure why we found that so funny, but Danielle and I burst out laughing.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

UPDATED: It's been a great day

So far today:

Master told me he would "never like me again" after I told him he needed to clean up before he played more computer games.

Whiny told me I was "being mean" because I told him he needed to clean the Tinker Toys on the ground before he fixed his Tinker Toy machine

BabyGirl screamed for 20 minutes for no apparent reason other than the fact she wanted to shake her fists (which she did).


UPDATE:  I told her mom about the fists and she said, " Oh yeah the Fists of Fury."  What a great name

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

so close, as per usual

The boys were playing in family room while I made lunch.

Whiny Magee:  something something sound barrier

Master of Disaster:  What's a sound barrier?

WM:  It's when if you go so fast it will bury you

Thursday, February 16, 2012

well you should know

Master of Disaster:  Why do you keep that thing?  I have a stud in my nose

Me:  I think it's pretty

MofD:  Where did you get it?

Me:  A jewelry store

MofD:  What is the name of it?

Me:  I don't know

MofD:  Well you should know, *you're* the one who bought it

Friday, February 10, 2012

they are bombs

Master of Disaster:  Look, I saw a bird!  It landed in that tree!

Me:  Wow, cool!

MofD:  I  like birds

Me:  Me too.  What kind is your favorite?

MofD:  The black ones

Me:  Those are called crows.  I like them too

MofD:  Yeah the black ones are bombs!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

I love car conversations

Me:  What would you do if you saw a power line down in the yard

Whiny Magee:  Tell Dad

Me:  Would you touch it?

WM: No!

Me:  Master??

MofD:  no

Me: Why not, Master?

MofD: It would electricate us!!


MofD:  If Mommy and Daddy didn't have any kids they could go anywhere they wanted to.

Me: What?  Where would they want to go

MofD:  Anywhere they wanted

Me: But where would they want to go that you couldn't go?

MofD:  To any restaurant they wanted

Me:  Can they not go to any restaurant they want to now?

MofD:  No.  Only ones for kids and families.

Me:  Oh

Whiny Magee:  Yeah, one time Mommy went to dinner with a friend and we couldn't go.

MofD:  Where was Daddy?

WM:  Home with us.

Friday, February 3, 2012


Master of Disaster is sad right now.  Very sad.  He & Whiny have toys that have some little pieces and MofD lost some of  his pieces.  Whiny let him play with his pieces but then wanted them back.  Well MofD thought this wasn't fair and wanted Whiny to share.  I don't know why I bothered to try to explain that it was indeed fair.  I tried to talk to him and use some of my newly acquired counseling skills.  Oh boy!  At one point I think he growled at me and made an "angry" face at me; I had to hide my smile.  MofD does not like to be comforted and when you try he usually gets more upset and angry.

Me:  That's sad isn't it?

MofD:  Yeah!

Me: can I give you a hug?


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

we could ask

I have a little bit of a head cold.  Really it's just a bunch of sinus pressure.  So I told Master of Disaster that we were going to run to Target so I could get some medicine.

MofD:  Is it pink medicine? (I'm guessing he's thinking of Amoxicillin)

Me:  I don't think it's gonna be pink

MofD:  Well what are you feeling?

Me:  My sinuses hurt.

MofD:  I don't know where the "scientist" medicine is.  Maybe we could ask someone who works at Target.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

what do we eat?

Me:  Do you guys know what holiday is coming up?

MofD:  nope

Me:  Valentine's Day

Whiny Magee:  I was just gonna say that

MofD:  Oh I like Valentine's Day.  That's the day we get to eat turkey!

Me:  That's Thanksgiving

MofD:  What do we get to eat on Valentine's Day?

Oh really?

Like I said last week, someone has been sick on and off for the past month.  It's mainly been Whiny but Master of Disaster has been sick too.  There has been a lot of temperature taking, so the boys associate fever with sickness.  I tried to make being sick and having to stay home not fun so they (by they I mean MofD) don't pretend to be sick and not go to school.

MofD has been saying he "doesn't feel good" whenever he doesn't want to do something.  Time to pick up?  He doesn't feel so good.  We're finishing up lunch?  His belly hurts.  I could go on for awhile but I won't bore you.

Yesterday he didn't want to eat his lunch

MofD:  I'm getting sick; take my temperature

Me:  You're not sick eat your lunch

MofD:  But I'm getting sooooo hot

Me:  Then let's take off your sweatshirt.

This morning we were picking up before I have to take him to school and he sneezed twice.

MofD:  I think I'm sick

Me:  No, you just had to sneeze

MofD:  I think I may have pink eye

Me:  Pink eye?  What's that?

MofD:  When your eye is pink and one is bigger than the other

I guest blogged for Elle Sees today, so stop over and take a look.  Her blog is pretty awesome; it's full of useful. practical beauty and fashion tips.

Monday, January 30, 2012

close enough

I was working with Master of Disaster on recognizing his letters.  He kept referring to them as lower case and higher case.  So close buddy, so close!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

aw shucks

So maybe you've noticed that A) the boys stopped being funny, B) I don't have time to write about it, C) I've abandoned you for someone younger and prettier or D) Pinterest exists.  Well the truth is that the kids have been off and on sick for the past month and BabyGirl is getting some molars on top of it.  So there really hasn't been anything super exciting/funny going on here and I've been sucked in to Pinterest in an amazingly awful way. I'm going to attempt to Tweet Master of Disaster's one-liners more often, so feel free to follow me on Twitter @RandomlyBossy.

Whiny Magee told me this

WM:  Knock, knock

Me:  Who's there?

WM:  Spell

Me:  Spell who??

WM:  All right, W-H-O

Monday, January 23, 2012

quite a non sequitar

Master of Disaster:  Jess, there are no pirates in my class.

Me:  What?

MofD: There are no pirates in my class.

Me:  Should there be?

MofD: nope

Me:  Do you want there to be?

MofD:  no

We were both silently enjoying our breakfast/coffee when he piped up with this.  I wonder what is going on in his little brain sometimes.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Does that sound easy

Master of Disaster:  Jess, can you make a fire?

Me:  Do I ever make fires here?

MofD:  No

Me:  Well. I don't think I'm going to start today.  And I don't even really know how to start a fire

MofD:  First you put some wood in.  It needs to be really really big and it goes across.  Then you put some crushed up paper in.  And you put sparks in it.  And it sparks.  And then you put something in the corners.  And then you have to close that cabinets.  Does that sound easy?

Me:  Not really

MofD:  It sounds easy to me.

MofD wanted some hot chocolate, so we made some.  He likes creamer in his cocoa.  I always do half creamer/milk and half cocoa; that way it's not too hot.  He asked me if I was going to put creamer in my coffee and I said that I don't like creamer in it.  He then told me that his parent's do. But "Mommy is trying to lose weight so she only likes a little" but that "daddy likes a lot.  Maybe he is trying to get more weight"

Friday, January 13, 2012

Just like in Dad's show

I was telling the boys that when I go back to school my friend was going to be coming over to play with them.  She has two daughters and we have gotten together for play dates a bunch of times.  So I wanted to prep them for her.  But I also wanted to make sure that they didn't call her Evie and Mia's Mommy.

Me:  Do you know what Evie and Mia's mommy's name is?

Both boys:  no

Me:  It's Danielle

Whiny:  Oh!  That's just like on the show Daddy watches

Me:  What show is that?

Whiny:  American Pickers

Me:  Burst out laughing What's that show about?  Now I've seen it, I just like to hear what the boys think of things sometimes.  Try it, it's great!

Whiny:  It's about guys who get rusty stuff

Me:  Rusty stuff?  What do they do with it?

Whiny:  Try to give it to people

Friday, January 6, 2012

The funniest thing ever

So Master of Disaster was being mean to BabyGirl the other day and I put him in timeout because of it.  When he came out I asked him why he was there and he told me what he did.  I told him that I was going to have to tell Mommy & Daddy what he was doing and they were going to be mad.  Then, he did the funniest thing ever:  he put his hand up to his face, by his eyes, with two fingers pointing out straight at me.

Me:  What does that mean?

MofD:  in a menacing whisper I got my eye on you


I had to turn away before I burst out laughing.  He did it again today to both me and his father.  It's gonna get out real quick but it was too funny the first time

Thursday, January 5, 2012

time warp

Introducing the kids to He-man.  Master of Diaster wanted to know why his hair was so long.  This should be interesting.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

liar liar

So lately Master of Disaster has decided that he does not like cheese.  This is the same child who would eat grilled cheese every day if I let him.  Then all of a sudden he doesn't like cheese.  Whatever, no biggie.  So he stopped eating grilled cheese; no cheese on his pasta, no cheese on his turkey sandwiches; no cheese sticks.  He will, however, eat mac & cheese and cheese pizza.  He actually loves them.  Whiny Magee loves cheese so I still put cheese on or in his lunch. Yesterday we had turkey sandwiches for lunch: WM with cheese, MofD without

MofD:  Hey!  I don't like cheese!

Me:  I didn't give you any cheese

MofD:  What's that stuff??

Me:  That's WM's lunch

MofD:  Where's mine!?

Me:  umm probably on the other plate at the table

MofD:  oh ok....Jess isn't it weird that Whiny likes cheese and I don't?

Me:  not really.  But I think you are being stubborn.  I think you like cheese

MofD:  No I don't

Me:  You like mac & cheese

MofD:  nope, not anymore

Me: Cheese pizza?

MofD:  not anymore

Me:  Ok so the next time we have pizza just me and Whiny will eat it.

MofD:  Where's the pizza?

Me:  We don't have any today but some day we will

I told his dad about that conversation this morning and he laughed because they had pizza for dinner and MofD ate all his.