Wednesday, August 31, 2011

wanna hear a story

Whiny Magee:  Hey Jess, you wanna hear about the time a brick fell into our yard!!??

Me:  ummmm not really sure

Whiny Magee:  One time a brick fell off the chimney and into our yard!!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Yay for me!

In non-nanny news, I got a blog award!!  Erin, from Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies, gave it to me.  And let me just tell you that she has been super, duper supportive in my blogging attempts.  And that's not to say that ya'll aren't, but she is always there with a lovely comment and/or advice.  Her blog is wonderful, so go check it out.  It's about everything and nothing and I love it!  But I suspect that she just really likes my blog as opposed to it being "versatile."  But hey, I'm not complaining.  Thanks Erin!!!

The OFFICIAL rules of the award are:
-Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.
-Tell your readers 7 things about yourself.
-Give this award to up to 15 recently discovered bloggers.
-Contact those bloggers and tell them the exciting news!

Seven things about myself...hmmmmm

* Changing my hairstyle and color is kinda my thing.  I like the variety of it and ya know it's only hair; it grows back or I can re-dye it.  I've been trying to grow my hair out for the past 6ish months and it's been driving my crazy. 

*  I love supernatural stuff.  Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies etc.  But I do not love that they are so popular with 13 year old girls.  Vampires and werewolves are suppose to be scary and life-threatening, not sexy.  Darn you Twilight and Stephanie Meyer!!

* On that note, my guilty pleasure is reading books targeted towards teenage girls and watching the TV show if there is one. 

*  I could sit on my couch all day and watch movies or a whole season of a TV show.  I never feel guilty about it.  Those last three make me sound like a such a waste of space. . .yikes!

*  My make up and nail polish sometimes cost more than the clothes I am wearing.

*  Some my best friends in the entire world I have known since high school.  We only see each other (all together) about 2 times a year but those few times are some of the best times ever. 

* And last but not least, I actually write another blog that I have yet to "announce" but Erin found it and says I should let ya''ll know.  So here it goes.  I write a blog called The Randomness of Me.  It's a work in progress, so don't judge too harshly.

Now it's my turn to let you know what blogs I think deserve this award.  You may have already heard about them and have been reading them for a while but these blogs are newly discovered by yours truly.

* Michelle from Twentynine

* Celeste from Alphabet Soup

Happy reading and thanks again Erin!

wild animal?

As a preface I want you to know that we went to the zoo yesterday.

So their mom is a doctor and wants the boys to know that "proper" term for body parts.  That is not to say that they don't have silly terms for some silly parts.  Peepeedonger?  Now that's freakin' funny!  Anyhoo...she was teaching them the "right" word for lady bits.  And they made up some silly rhyme about taking a vagina to China.

This morning -

Mom:  Tell Jessica what girl parts are called

Whiny Magee:  a hyena!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

in case it gets cold

Today the boys were going to go to karate so I was getting them ready.  Besides their karate outfits - which is actually called a gi- they also have a t-shirt with the dojo name (Look at me throwing out all these proper karate names). I told the boys to go up and get their t-shirts and come down to get dressed.  Whiny Magee said he couldn't find his shirt and then I remembered that they were probably dirty from last week since I haven't done the boys' laundry this week yet. So Master of Disaster is upstairs "looking" for his shirt.  Oh boy, this could be interesting.  I go to check on him and fish through the hamper for his gi pants.  When I got to his room I found him very carefully looking through his shirts in the closet, gently sliding each shirt over once he realizes it's not his karate shirt.  I grab his pants and tell him to come on down stairs. 

Down he comes with two hangers.  One is a sleeveless t-shirt.  The other one is a sweater vest. 

MofD:  I want to wear this one in case it gets cold (holding up the sweater vest)

Me:   ummmm...let's just get your gi on

MofD:  And now can we put this one on?

Me:  In case you get cold??

MofD:'s like a coat....feel it

Me:  you mine it's like a sweater

MofD:  Yeah.  Can I wear it?

Me:  Well is it cold out?

MofD:  no

Me:  I don't think you need it.  But we can bring it just in case it gets cold.

Monday, August 15, 2011

old fashioned

Whiny Magee was showing me his "toy camera".  He wanted to show me what happened if you pushed "the arrow button."  Well,when you push the arrow button the back opens up and you could put in, if you had any, real film.  He thought it was all so very cool and then he told me that "this is an old fashioned camera, my dad told me that."


Thursday, August 11, 2011

it's not really funny. . .

. . .but be glad it wasn't you.

So after nap Master of Disaster, believe it or not, was a beast.  He didn't want to wake up so I let him sleep for about 30 more minutes then I made him get out of bed.  He cried the whole way downstairs and continued to cry while I sat him down for snack.  Whiny Magee had already eaten and was watching Sesame Street. I told MofD that once I was done cleaning the kitchen I was going into the living room.  I hoped this would prompt him to eat faster, a girl can dream right?  He just sat there and cried and said over and over that he "wanted his mom."  Awesome!

So I'm watching TV with WM, when MofD went running by to use the bathroom. And then. . .I heard it.  It was awful.  I knew right away I was in for some trouble.  Then I heard:

MofD:  crying I thought I just had to pee.

Poor kid.  He totally sharted. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Master of Disaster: Jess, what do you have for lunch today?

Me: Potatoes

MofD:  Oh.  What's on them?

Me:  They're called Au Gratin

MofD:  How'd they get rotten?  Why you eating them?

Monday, August 8, 2011


Scene:  It's nap and we're in Master of Disaster's room and his bed has three bed rails on it

Me:  If I need to come up here for any reason during nap, it will not be good for you

MofD:  But what if I fall out of bed?

Me:  You won't

the list

I'm not exactly sure where it came from but the boys, their mom and I all say "you're on my list" when someone is doing something that makes us angry.  I think it came from a movie and their mom and I both know we are referring to our "shit list" when we say it. 

So today they boys were being PITAs (Pains in the Ass) during lunch and they were not eating and they were fooling around.  The Master of Disaster always has problems during lunch but Whiny Magee is usually really good.  So I say to WM:  "You're getting to be on my list"

MofD:  Not me Jess?

Me:  Oh you are already there

MofD:  Where?

Me:   ummmmm my list

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

car conversations rock!

On the way back from picking up Master of Disaster at half-day camp.

MofD: Jess who has sharper teeth an alligator or a shark?

Me:  I don't know

MofD:  Tell me Jess

Me:  I don't's a mystery.  Who do you think does??

MofD:  I don't know. . can you tell me?

Me:  No I can't because I don't know

MofD:  Alligators have very sharp teeth!

Me:  Yes they do.  Sharper than a shark?

MofD:  I don't know.  Sharks have sharp teeth too. . .I think a shark has sharper teeth

Me:  Ok

MofD:  Or maybe an alligator

And then we continued to talk about how sharks and alligators don't actually live in the same areas so it's very hard to compare.  But of course, because need to tell them the truth about everything, I proceed to tell him that sharks and alligators will bite you if you go near them.  But only because they think we are food, not because they are being mean (duh!). 

MofD:  If a shark nibbles on me, I'll be ok because I'm rough and tough.  I'll just go get a band-aid.

On the way to get Whiny Magee from full-day camp

MofD:  You know that my dad saw on the news???!!!

Me:  What?

MofD:  They are putting fries AND apples in there now!!! (luckily I'm somewhat current with news and knew he was talking about McDonald's)

Me:  WOW! That's so cool

MofD:  Yeah they are building that right now!!

Me:  Building what?

MofD:  I don't know

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

perks of nannydom

So today during nap, I was on FB and I saw that Dollop-a local cupcake shop-had free passes to the sneak preview of The Change-Up.  The movie was tonight at 7.  The first person I thought of was my friend BC.  She is the most bargain-y person I know and is *always* getting free stuff.  She also is very giving with her free stuff and I have been on the receiving end many many times.  So away I texted and lo and behold she can come tonight (her husband is great like that).

I wake up the Master of Disaster and BabyGirl (early I might add) and off we go to get cupcakes and a free movie pass.  I love that I have a job where that is possible. 

I'll be seeing you tonight boys!


So I think I may hove come up with some nicknames for the boys.  I think from now on A will be referred to as Master of Disaster and J will be Whiny Magee.   Do these names seem a tad mean?  I don't want to be the mean bossy nanny but those names fit very well with the kids' personalities. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

as my mother would say Holy Craparoni!!

I am in for a world of hurt!! 

One of my current favorite naptime time wasters is Rants from Mommyland!  It's a hysterical blog about the joys of mommydom (as if you couldn't've figured that one out on your own).  I just read this post. . . and OMG.  I knew once BabyGirl became mobile life, as I know it, would be over.  Thankfully she has no desire to start crawling yet; so I'm safe. . .for now. 

*  spell check suggested "agglutinative" and "goaltenders" for couldn't've.  Now I'm going to look up agglutinative. 

*ag·glu·ti·na·tive adj.
Concerning or characteristic of agglutination (really?? that's the definition??)

1. the action of an agglutinant substance.
2. the process of union in wound healing.
3. the clumping together in suspension of antigen-bearing cells, microorganisms, or particles in the presence of specific antibodies