Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I should really start paying attention

On the way to karate the boys were talking about what kind of cars they're going to build.  I'm pretty sure it all started from  something that my car didn't/couldn't do, but I don't remember exactly what.  I really wasn't paying attention to them (which is kinda a recurrent theme in my days).  Every now and again I'd say "wow" or "that's cool"; it really didn't matter what they actually said.  Here are a few bits that I did catch:

*  my car is going to have five spare tires, so I can have an extra for someone else

*  my car is going to have a shooter thing so you can hang Christmas lights high up on your house (there was also something about shooter thing and a chimney)

*  if there is an accident, my car is going to be able to lift up over all the cars

*  my car is going to have a vacuum to suck up bits of pointy metal in the road

I'm sure I missed plenty of wonderful car inventions, I'll try to pay closer attention when they are talking nonsense in the back.

Friday, December 16, 2011

he *is* the reason for the season

So my bosses have been trying to teach Master of Disaster that it's not ok to say God or Jesus unless you're praying.  This has turned out to bite us all in the ass.  Now, if he hears you say either one he will ask if you were praying.  If you say no, he'll tell you that it's not nice to say God/Jesus unless you're praying.  If you say yes, he'll ask you what you're praying for.  And we all usually turn what ever we were saying "God" about into a prayer:  I was praying that the car in front of us would speed up.

So today he was playing with a train that runs around the Christmas tree (yes they actually have a Christmas train) and it kept getting stuck in the back of the tree and I kept having to crawl back there to fix it.  Finally I told him this was the last time I would fix it.  As I'm attempting to crawl out from behind the tree I said "oh jeez"  and I know I said "oh jeez" because I said it like I was from Minnesota.  Then I hear MofD whisper "oh Jesus."

Me:  What'dya say?

MofD:  I said what you said

Me:  What did I say?

MofD:  you said "oh Jesus"

Me:  No I said "oh jeez"

MofD:  Oh.  I was praying.

Me trying not to laugh in his face:  What were you praying for?

MofD:  that the train wouldn't get stuck

Monday, December 12, 2011

not even one bit!!

Master of Disaster:  Jess can you put his fireman coat on me?

Me:  Sure come here

Master of Disaster:  I want you to come here

Me:  That's not gonna happen.  You come here

Master of Disaster:  I won't come there

Me:  Well then I guess you won't get your coat on then huh?

This went on for like 5 minutes, seriously.  Then BabyGirl scooted over to the stairs which was about halfway between MofD and me.  So I had to go over in get her because that girl can climb those stairs pretty fast.

Master of Disaster:  You're coming over here now

Me:  I'm getting your sister

Master of Disaster:  That's not fair!!!  Not even one bit!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

another one

I made a mix of cheerios, chocolate chips and marshmallows for snack today

Master of Disaster:  Jess these marshmallows taste differenter than the chocolate chips.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

an actual conversation

Me:  Whiny Magee, do you want cheese on your turkey sandwich?

WM:  Yeah!

Me:  come you want a slice of cheese or this kind I'm holding a bag of shredded cheese

Whiny Magee:  a slice of cheese

Me:  ok

WM:  What are we having for lunch?

Me: uhhh turkey sandwiches

WM:  I want cheese on mine

Thanks Capt. Obvious

Whiny Magee goes to a half day kindergarten but on Mondays he goes back to school to have "Science Club."  Great in theory, but it's a lot of work (loading and unloading two extra children -twice-one of whom is a baby that needs to be carried) for me just so he can be there for an hour. But anyhoo...when we went back to get him the only parking spot I could find was really close to the car next to me.  I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to buckle the boys in car, it was *that* close.  I even contemplated getting them in the car and then moving to a more open spot in the parking lot.  But luckily the car next to was getting ready to leave the same time we were.  I even saw the lady start to give me a dirty look for parking so close (and trust me it was tight on both sides I wasn't being a jerk) then she saw I had three kids, all of whom needed to be in a car seat unlike her and her 10 year old.  I had Master of Diasater climb across the seat from BabyGirl's side but then the other car left, Whiny Magee and I walked around to that side.  I opened the door:

MofD:  Jess!! I have good news!!

Me: Oh yeah?  What's that?

MofD:  That other car leaved! Now you can open the door!

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Ok so this is not the first time that this has happened, I just haven't posted about it.  But now it's gone too far.

So Master of Disaster was pointing out states on the map and asking me what they were.  Luckily the posted was labeled so I seemed so smart.  Then we went on to the Solar System poster. He pointed to Jupiter and I said "that's Jupiter."  Jupiter, by the way, is apparently red-ish in color.

MofD:  No!  That's mars

Me:  No it's Jupiter.

MofD:  It's red.  Mars is big and red.

Me:  Well Mars is red, your right. But it's small and red

MofD:  No it's big and red.  I know that.  When we were there it was big and red WHAT?

Me:  When you were there?

MofD:  Yeah, it was big and red

Now this is what I was talking about when I said this was not the first time.  He has talked about when he went to Mars several times before.  And not in the-funny-story kind of way.  In the I-actually-went-there-and-I-can-tell-you-all-about-it way.  I don't know where he went that he thought was Mars or maybe he dreamed it, but he honest to goodness thinks he went to Mars.  And not just him, the whole family went.  There's no convincing him otherwise.  So don't try.  However, I have some issues with letting him call me wrong.  I was right dammit!!

MofD:  I'm right, I just know that

Me:  MofD, that's Jupiter.

MofD:  No, it's Mars

Me:  Fine you can think that, but you'll be wrong What's wrong with me!!?? He's 3!

Monday, November 28, 2011

too quiet

Both boys are slightly obsessed with Angry Birds.  When I walked into work today they both were so happy to show me their new stuffed Angry Birds.  Blue and red, of course.  So Master of Disaster was playing Angry Birds with his stuffed bird and using his chair like a building he was destroying.  We also had a discussion about why the pigs were the mean ones if the birds were the ones knocking down the houses.  I insisted that maybe the birds were the bad guys and he said the pigs were.  I thought I had more proof to back up my claims he disagreed.  MofD replied "I just know that cuz I play Angry Birds!"  Apparently that is proof enough.

So it was really quiet in the living and I realized my pancake helper was gone.  Yep that right, we're making pancakes *again* I told you they eat them everyday.

This is what I walked into:


Monday, November 21, 2011

what did you say?

Master of Disaster and I are doing a letter workbook.  We are on the letter "E."  MofD makes the middle line of the E really long and it took up almost all the room on the page.

Me:  Ok make another one.

MofD:  That line "fogged" up the whole thing! Remember he says everything with a speech impediment

Me:  What did it do???

MofD:  It fogged up the page.

It took me a minute to realize that he was not dropping an F-bomb; he was really saying "fogged up."  I don't know why both boys say "fogged up;" it's almost a combination of full and hogged.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

so fancy

On the way home from getting Master of Disaster from school we pull up next to a Honda Accord at a stop light.

Master of Disaster:  Look at that fancy blue car

Me:  Why is is fancy?

MofD:  Because it's blue.

Me:  Oh.  Are all blue cars fancy?

MofD:  Nope. Blue cars with dents are *not* fancy.

Monday, November 14, 2011

promises, promises

 As you read this post, I want you to remember that Master of Disaster is three.  So everything he said was accompanied by his cute little three year old face and said in his cute three year old speech impediment.  And his arms were crossed in front of him most of the time.

Once again, we were making pancakes. I was trying to clean the kitchen before we started and Master of Disaster would not leave me alone.  I kept telling him to go find something to do and I would tell him when it was time to make them.  Finally, I told him top "bugger off"- which I know he hates.

MofD:  You are the meanest Jessica ever!

Me:  barely holding in my laughter  What did I do that was mean?

MofD:  I'm not telling you

Me:  Fine.  Just go find something to do

MofD:  If you don't apologize I won't leave

Me:  What am I apologizing for?

MofD:  I won't tell you

Me:  If you don't tell me what I did wrong then I can't apologize

MofD:  You are being mean.

Me:  How am I being mean?

MofD:  You just are.

Then he wandered out of the room and I could hear him muttering about "being mean" I told him that I was going to start the pancakes.  If you want to help then you need to tell me why you are sad.

MofD:  How long until we make pancakes

Me:  I've already started.  Are you going to tell me why you are sad?

MofD:  I already did

Me:  No you didn't

MofD:  Yes I did

Me:  Well I didn't hear you.  Can you tell me again

MofD:  No.  If you didn't hear me then I am not letting you come back here ever again

Me:  Promise??

MofD:  Yes!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

can you draw. . .

MofD:  Jess can you draw Huckle for me?

Me:  What's Huckle?

MofD:  He's a cat

Me:  I don't know what Huckle looks like

MofD:  He has feet and a face and he walks

Oh that was so helpful!

this is Huckle

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Today for lunch I made Fluffanutters.  I know that the boys have never had it, so I made one sandwich just PB&J and one a Fluffanutter and I gave each of them a half.  Master of Disaster was excited to hear that we were having marshmallows for lunch and Whiny Magee (who is a bit picky) was sceptical.  MofD *loved* it and had a very Joker-esque face of PB and Fluff from ear to ear.  Whiny Magee decided he liked it to, much to my surprise.  

MofD:  Maybe some day we can marshmallows with that white stuff with the blue top

Me:  White stuff with a blue top?

MofD:  yeah

Me: What are you talking about?

MofD:  What white stuff with the blue top

Me:  ummmm

MofD:  the stuff that makes turkey sandwiches so yummy!

Me:  Dude, that's mayo and that would be so gross

Monday, November 7, 2011

at least you know your colors

I was making BabyGirl her bottle which is a mixture of breast milk and whole milk (red cap).  The rest of the family drinks 1% (yellow cap).

MofD:  What color cap did that milk have?  Was it yellow?

Me:  no it was red

MofD:  Don't you know that that's apple cider?!

Me:  No it was milk

MofD:  not if it had a red cap!

Me:  It was milk.  BG drinks a different kind of milk than you do.  Does this look like apple cider??

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Not me!

Me:   uh Master of Disaster?  Who's hand is that?

MofD:  It's not my print

Me:  really?  Then who's is it then?

MofD:  Does it look like mine?  Let's see if it matches

Me:  Don't put your hand on that mirror again.

MofD: I don't know who did that.  Maybe the wind did.

man that wind is sneaky

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

if it's *that* important

Master of Disaster:  Jess can I look for something that is "bery" important to me?

Me:  Sure, what is it?

Master of Disaster: ummm. . .it's something. . .uh. . .let me think. . .uh ummm. . .it's. . .it changes colors

Me:  it changes colors?  How?

MofD:  It's a color changin', water changin' car

Me:  Go right ahead and look for

MofD:  you need to look for it

Me:  Um no.  It's not very important to me, so *you* need to look for it.

Friday, October 28, 2011

They grow up so fast

BabyGirl is turning one!!!  Happy birthday BabyGirl

time to baby proof the new kitchen

she's got some rhythm 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

who's in control

I have an automatic car starter and I almost always use it.  And I almost always leave my windshield wipers on.

I was strapping in the kids.  BabyGirl on one side and then on the other side Whiny Magee first and then Master of Disaster.  So Master of Disaster always hangs out outside the car for awhile when Whiny Magee is getting buckled up.

MofD:  Jess!!!  You're windshield wipers wiped and you weren't controlling them!!

And in case you were wondering: yes I have three car seats in my car.  And no I don't drive a van.  They are all jam packed in

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

favorite animal part deux

Master of Disaster:  Want to hear hints about my favorite animal?

Me:  sure

MofD: It has stripes

Me:  Is it a dog?

MofD:  no

Mom: is it a skunk?

Me:  It is a tiger?

MofD:  no

Me:  is it a giraffe?

Mom:  Is it crack-a-lackin'?   (think Madagascar)

MofD:  no.  It has black stripes and white stripes and . . . Jess do zebras live at the zoo?

Me:  Yes

MofD:  . . .and it lives in the zoo

Me & Mom: is it a zebra??

MofD:  Yes!!

Monday, October 24, 2011

want a hint?

For some reason we were talking about farm animals

Whiny Magee:  my favorite farm animal says "moo"

Me:  oh so your favorite animal is a horse?

Whiny Magee:  No!!

Me:  Are you sure?  Cuz a horse totally says "moo"

Whiny Magee:  no it doesn't

Master of Disaster comes walking over

MofD:  Want me to give you a hint?

Me:  Sure  I was expecting him to say "it's a cow" since he's three and can't really give hints

MofD:  It's spotted and it gives milk

Me:   a goat??

MofD:  no, it gives milk now he's doing the pantomime of someone milking a cow

It doesn't matter

We're making pancakes again, and Master of Disaster is sans shirt.  He wanted to crack some eggs and I let him.  Needless to say he got egg on his shirt so we took it off and he said he didn't want to wear a shirt today.  We're not going anywhere so i don't care if he is shirtless. . .I'm picking my battles here people!

So we're making pancakes and he keeps sticking his hands down his pants.  In the back.  I told him to go wash his hands and keeps his hands out of his pants.

Master of Disaster:  But I'm wearing underwear.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

shower & some pigs

So this morning I woke up to no hot water in my apartment.  Have no fear, awesome reader, I work someplace that has not one, but three showers for showering needs.  So I packed up a bag and went to work looking like a trucker:  baseball hat, big ass old hoodie.  The dad boss says "Oh look at you all bundled up."  Was that his way of saying I look like junk?

So after Whiny Magee goes to school and BabyGirl goes down for a nap, Master of Disaster and I go upstairs.  I turn on the TV in the parent's room for MofD to watch while I jump in the shower.  

Me:  Master of Disaster, you know how when Mommy takes a shower you sometimes go in and talk to her?

MofD:  Yeah

Me:  Well when I'm in the shower do you think you should come in?

MofD:  No

Me:  Why not?

MofD: Thinking for a second You don't want me to see your girl parts

Me: good (I was actually quite impressed he figured it out on his own)

MofD:  What if I have to go potty?

Me:  Well where else could you go if that happened?

MofD:  In my room.  (the boys' rooms are connected by bathroom Brady Bunch style)

**Now MofD is drawing on a Magnadoodle and says

MofD:  look I'm drawing pigs

Me:  Pigs?

MofD:  Yeah from Angry Birds

I kinda see it know that I know


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I saw it on The News

Master of Disaster:  Jess, are coyotes real?

Me:  yeah, but they don't live around here so we don't need to worry (slightly a lie,but they live too close to the city for coyotes to be here)

Master of Disaster:  they live in warm places.  Like near volcanoes.

Me:  Ummmmm......

Mof D:  What do they do with the dogs they kill?

Me:  What??

MofD:  When they kill the dogs what do they do with them?

Me:  Where did you hear that?

MofD:  On the news they said that someone's dog was killed by coyotes.

Me:  Oh.  Well coyotes gotta eat right?  What do you think they eat?

MofD:  They eat the dogs?  The whole body?

Me:  Sometimes

MofD:  Then they throw it into the volcano?

Me:  Coyotes don't live near volcanoes.

MofD:  Yes they do.  I saw it on The News.  They said that.

Sometimes it's not worth arguing over

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Where in the world is the Bisquick?

Not sure if I've mentioned that they are doing some remodeling at work.  But they are doing some remodeling at work.  And by remodeling I mean: knocking down a wall between the kitchen and living room, repainting the kitchen cabinets, getting a new stove, oven, and fridge, putting down new hardwood floors, and putting in new sliding glass doors.  So everything that was in the living room and kitchen cabinets needed to be moved into the dining room and playroom.  So take a moment and envision the Hell that that all was.   Also picture no stove or oven for about a week and a half and the fridge was in the garage.  So everything is just about done and the place looks A-MAZE-ING!  Their new fridge is the biggest thing I have ever seen.  I am jealous because I know I will never have such a nice kitchen.  Poor Jess!

Anyhoo...they are slowly moving things back into the kitchen, but because there are new cabinets or missing cabinets, everything has a new home.  And I can't find anything.  Side note:  My parents redid their kitchen about 5 years ago and they also moved things around.  I still, to this day five years later, open up what use to be the silver ware draw only to find measuring cups and baking stuff.  My dad will say "there's no silverware in there." To which I reply "well for 25 years there was"  That'll teach him! So Master of Disaster and I were going to make pancakes.  The boys eat them everyday for breakfast so I make like a triple batch and put them in the fridge.  It's actually in my contract as one of my responsibilities as a nanny.  So we're trying to make pancakes, but do you think I can find the Bisquick??

Me:  Master of Disaster, if you were the Bisquick, where would you be?

MofD:  I don't know

Me:  hmmmm...where is the Bisquick??

MofD:  What's Bisquick?

Me: What we use to make the pancakes

MofD:  Maybe Daddy is playing a joke on us and hid it!

Me:  Probably

I end up texting my boss and he called to tell me where he thought it was.  It was in a box that hadn't been unpacked.  Crisis adverted!!

While we were making the pancakes:

Master of Disaster:  We got a new fridgerator, and a new stove and a new microwave.  But that's old.

Me:  What is?

MofD:  That thing over there. pointing

Me: What is that called?

MofD:  I don't know

Me:  Well what do we use it for?

MofD:  To cook your waffles.

Ok, so he was talking about the toaster oven and he was right, I bring waffles everyday for breakfast.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Indian Giver (is that even PC?)

Remember how Master of Disaster said this?  Well this weekend they went to their grandparent's house and I guess Master of Disaster picked out a pumpkin for me.  So this morning their mom goes to the car to get it and MofD starts to cry and scream that it was *his* pumpkin and he didn't want me to have it.  Then he told me that I could have one of the "pumpkins" that is out front by the tree.  Ya know what?  It's not even a pumpkin. it's a freakin' gourd!  Awesome!!

And also did you know that the highest mountain in the world is Mt Neverst??

Friday, October 7, 2011

close but no cigar

Me: Hey Master of Disaster, what's a pirates favorite kind of socks?

Master of Disaster:  Arrrrgh-bies!

It's huge!

**Whiny Magee:  I've never been to your house before

Me:  I know.  But it's an apartment not a house, so it's small than yours.  What rooms do you think I have in my apartment?

WM: I don't know

Me:  Well what rooms would I *need* to have

WM:  A family room

Me:  not so much

WM:  a bedroom?

Me:  Yep

WM:  how many do you have?

Me:  well it's just me so I only need one bedroom

**As we walk in front of my building to get to my door which is on the side of my building.

Whiny Magee:  Your house is H-U-G-E!

Me:  Well this is not all mine.  There are a lot of people's apartments in there

Master of Disaster:  But it still pretty big

**I have a Bath and Body Works Halloween themed foaming soap in my bathroom.  It was a picture of a jack o lantern on it.

Master of Disaster:  Oh I like your pumpkin soap.  I think it's really cool!!

**I clearly only have one bed since I only have one bedroom.  So the boys needed to share it for nap time.

Master of Disaster:  Jess, someday can you buy us little beds for your house?

Me:  You want me to get you beds to sleep in for my house?

MofD:  yeah

Me:  Well...I'll tell ya what.  If for some reason you ever have to live with me then I will get you beds.  But you would never have to live with me.

Whiny Magee:  Yeah that would be silly

MofD:  But I want you to buy me little bed.

I found that whole conversation extra funny because both boys have full size beds.  So don't even have "little beds" at their house.  And then I felt as though I needed to explained to their parents that I *did not* tell the boys they were going to live with me.  Just in case.

**The boys are both in my bathroom.  Whiny Magee is on the potty and Master of Disaster is waiting.  MofD comes out into the kitchen

MofD:  Jess, you have a bath tub and shower behind that thing in the bathroom!!!!!!!

Me:  Behind my shower curtain??!!

MofD:  Yeah!  Isn't that cool?

Me:  That I have a bath tub in my *bathroom*?

MofD:  Yeah!  Come see!!

We go into the bathroom where he proudly throws back my shower curtain to shower to show me my bath tub.

** I really like place mats.  I have them for all the holidays and seasons.  So clearly I have some Halloween ones out right now.  I have two sets: one has spiderwebs and one has some bats.

Master of Disaster:  These are cool place mats.  Can you bring them to my house?


MofD:  But they are cool.

Me:  But they're mine.  So they need to stay at my house.  You have cool Toy Story and Spiderman place mats at your house.

MofD:  But we don't have place mats with bats on them at my house.

Me:  We'll use them tomorrow too, promise.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

just wait

So today the boys (and BabyGirl) spent the day at my house.  They are getting their hardwoods re-done and we can't be in the house.  The boys said some of the funniest things today in regards to my apartment.  But, unfortunately, I just got out of class and I do not feeling like writing a post only because I know in my present state of mind I will not do them justice.  So stay tuned for tomorrow's amazing post.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

you know that??

Master of Disaster:  Jess did you see that we have pumpkins?  There are five.  The big one is Daddy and the other one is Mommy and then there is one for me and Whiny Magee and BabyGirl.

Me:  Wow!  There's one for each of you

Master of Disaster:  You're not in our family.  You know that?  That's why you don't have one.  If you want one you can go buy one

Sometimes I feel so loved.

Monday, October 3, 2011

You and me both

Master of Disaster:  I had not a good nap

Me:  Oh, you didn't have a nice nap Why not

MofD:  I didn't get to sleep long enough

Friday, September 30, 2011


Master of Disaster:  Wanna hear something?  It's really annoying.

It totally reminded me of Dumb & Dumber

Thursday, September 29, 2011

My mind is so dirty

Me: Guys we can't leave balloons on the ground.  They are a big choking hazard for sister (and yes we call her sister, not your sister).

Whiny Magee:  Oh I got a big choking hazard over here!

These pretzels are making me thirsty

Master of Disaster:  These cheerios are salty and are making my tongue salty.

Me: what??

Master of Disaster:  These cheerios are salty and are making my tongue salty so I have to take a drink

Me:  Those cheerios are salty?

Master of Disaster:  yeah...they are salty so I have to take a drink because they are making it hot

Me: ooooookkkkaayyyy

about 5 minutes later

Master of Disaster (showing me his almost empty bowl): Jess can I be full now?

Me:   yes you can be done

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Oh, Master of Disaster

**Today I was being outsmarted by a Handy Manny toy.  I was trying to get the battery cover thing off so I could put new batteries it in.  Righty tighy, lefty loosey correct?  Apparently not.  I was more like righty tighty, lefty still tighty.  But when I went to go get the screw drive Master of Disaster said, "That's my dad's new tool box from a long time ago."

**Then we were taking the clothes out of the washer and putting them into the dryer.

Master of Disaster:  Oh.  Pants.  Long sleeved ones.

**Master of Disaster: wouldn't it be cool if I slid down the railing and flew off the end?

Me:  ah no.  It would be scary and dangerous.

MofD:  not if I had flying powers.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Me:  Master of Disaster, your gi is filthy!

Master of Disaster:  what's on it?

Me:  I don't know but it's really dirty.

ModD:  How do you think it got dirty?

Me:  I don't know, how do *you* think it did?

MofD:  Maybe it's crayon (FYI it's totally not crayon, it's just a bunch of dirt)

Me:  How did crayon get on your gi?

MofD:  Maybe someone colored on it

Me:  Who would color on *your* gi?

MofD:  Maybe someone who didn't know it was a gi and not paper

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

you have to go to your own school

We were driving in the car to take Master of Disaster to school.

Master of Disaster:  That's Whiny Magee's school.  We had a pizza party there once.

Me:  You did?!

Master of Disaster:  Yeah they had cookies too

Me:  Did you save any cookies for me??

MofD:  The party is over

Me:  Yeah, but did you save me any cookies to eat?

MofD: no

Me:  Why not?

MofD:  Well maybe your school will have a pizza party, then you can have some cookies.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Not again!!

Master of Disaster:  Jess can we play Candyland?

Me:  No

Master of Disaster: Why not?

Me: Uh, what happened last time we played?

Master of Disaster:  You cheated

Up high! Down Low!

Master of Disaster and I "playing" that high five "game." 

Me:  Up high! Down Low! In the Middle!  Too slow!!!  bahahahaha!!  Isn't that funny?

Master of Disaster:  Let's do that again

Me:  Up high, down low, in the middle....too slow!  bahahaha!!

Master Of Disaster:  Again. . . but can you go slower?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

where's your proof?

Master of Disaster and I played Candyland this morning.  The boys are both very sore losers.  But that's to be expected of children and we've been working on the concept of "as long as you are having fun it doesn't matter who wins."  A girl can dream.

So we played and I won.  Master of Disaster tells me that I cheated.  I hope you are remembering Candyland correctly, it is kinda hard to cheat at it.

Me:  What do you mean I cheated?  How did I cheat?

MofD:  You won the game.

So apparently the only proof this 3 year old needs is that I won and he is pissed about it.  We then got into an epic Battle of the Wills (which I, of course, also won).

Monday, September 12, 2011


Me:  Hey look at all these mushrooms!

Whiny Magee:  yeah, blah blah somethingIcan'thearorunderstand

Me:  huh?

Whiny Magee: I said I don't want to smoosh them because I don't know if we have Smurfs.  Smurfs live in mushrooms ya know

Thursday, September 8, 2011

"playing" just got less fun

Master of Disaster and I are are playing with Nerf guns with suction cup tipped "bullets."  And for awhile it was fun because Master of Disaster would go and get my bullets for me.  So I was very happy to play if that meant I wouldn't have to get off my lazy tush and I could continue to read through my daily blog routine.  Then about 10 minutes into "playing" he looked at me and said. "you have to get your own bullets."

It got fun again when I taught him that you could stick the bullets to your forehead.  Good times!

+/*+96036 <-----courtesy of BabyGirl

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

how'd they get so smart

Me:  Master of Disaster, eat your lunch

MofD:  I don't like it.  It's yuck.  What is it?

Me: It's ravioli.  It's like spaghetti-os.

MofD:  Yuck, I don't like them

Me:  Yes you do.

MofD:  I don't like them.

Me:  Eat them.  You do to like them.

MofD:  Have you ever seen me eat them??

Me:  Damn it just eat your lunch!

Friday, September 2, 2011

really??. . .Really?

Sometimes when Whiny Magee  talks, I don't really listen.  I nod and say "mm-hmm" and "oh yeah" and "wow" a lot.   He has been going on and on lately about some Burger King kid's meal prize that he has lost.  He has been "looking all over the house" for it and just can't seem to find it.  He has been talking about it for a few days and I have been tuning him out; that is until I hear "too bad it doesn't have a tracking device."  What???

Me:  huh

Whiny Magee:  That Burger King toy I've been looking for.  Too bad it doesn't have a tracking device in it.  That way I'd know where it was.

Now the best part about this story is what the toy actually is.  It was from last year, first of all.  So how or why he even remembers it I haven't a clue. First, I'd like to describe it and then I'll put up a pic.  The "toy," and I use this word loosely, is about 6 inches in diameter (which of course means it's a circle).  On side is red and one side is black. The red side is "etched" to look like a family crest and the black side I believe has some sort of tribal "etching."  If you pull on the opposite sides, it comes apart to reveal a "scroll."  Get ready for your mind to be blown!!!!

What were you thinking BK??
That's right, it was a Twilight prize.  The family crest was the Cullen crest and the tribal "etching" was Jacob's tattoo (I think).  This is was Whiny Magee has been pining over.  Seriously kid??  A) He doesn't even know who these people are and B)  it doesn't actually do anything.  What a crappy prize.  But I think it's really all my fault.  When we got the kid's meals, they came with different prizes.  Whiny Magee's was this and he was disappointed, so I talked it up.  Wait until you see what Master of Disaster got.  His prize is still kicking around because he had on yesterday.  Ya ready for another mind blowing??

Oh my God, it's Edward.  He's so dreamy

Master of Disaster got this ring.  That's right, it's a ring! Holy awesome ring Batman!  And that picture is holographic.  Is your mind successfully blown!?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

heard but not seen

Today we went to the Museum of Play.  If you have never heard of the MofP, you're missing out.  It is literally dedicated to play.  Everything is hands on.  The National Toy Hall of Fame is there and it is awesome to go look at all the old toys.  It dawned on me this morning that school starts next week, so we will not have time to do all the fun outing that we normally do.  So off we went to the MofP.  They have a membership there so it doesn't cast me anything to take them.  And if we only stay an hour of two, it isn't a waste of money. 

So we are walking into the museum; I'm walking ahead with the stroller and the boys are following.  From behing all I hear is a loud BANG.  I turn around and realize that Master of Disaster wasn't really paying attention and walked into the floor to ceiling window that is next to the automatic door.  I wish I actually saw it.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

wanna hear a story

Whiny Magee:  Hey Jess, you wanna hear about the time a brick fell into our yard!!??

Me:  ummmm not really sure

Whiny Magee:  One time a brick fell off the chimney and into our yard!!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Yay for me!

In non-nanny news, I got a blog award!!  Erin, from Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies, gave it to me.  And let me just tell you that she has been super, duper supportive in my blogging attempts.  And that's not to say that ya'll aren't, but she is always there with a lovely comment and/or advice.  Her blog is wonderful, so go check it out.  It's about everything and nothing and I love it!  But I suspect that she just really likes my blog as opposed to it being "versatile."  But hey, I'm not complaining.  Thanks Erin!!!

The OFFICIAL rules of the award are:
-Thank the award-giver and link back to them in your post.
-Tell your readers 7 things about yourself.
-Give this award to up to 15 recently discovered bloggers.
-Contact those bloggers and tell them the exciting news!

Seven things about myself...hmmmmm

* Changing my hairstyle and color is kinda my thing.  I like the variety of it and ya know it's only hair; it grows back or I can re-dye it.  I've been trying to grow my hair out for the past 6ish months and it's been driving my crazy. 

*  I love supernatural stuff.  Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies etc.  But I do not love that they are so popular with 13 year old girls.  Vampires and werewolves are suppose to be scary and life-threatening, not sexy.  Darn you Twilight and Stephanie Meyer!!

* On that note, my guilty pleasure is reading books targeted towards teenage girls and watching the TV show if there is one. 

*  I could sit on my couch all day and watch movies or a whole season of a TV show.  I never feel guilty about it.  Those last three make me sound like a such a waste of space. . .yikes!

*  My make up and nail polish sometimes cost more than the clothes I am wearing.

*  Some my best friends in the entire world I have known since high school.  We only see each other (all together) about 2 times a year but those few times are some of the best times ever. 

* And last but not least, I actually write another blog that I have yet to "announce" but Erin found it and says I should let ya''ll know.  So here it goes.  I write a blog called The Randomness of Me.  It's a work in progress, so don't judge too harshly.

Now it's my turn to let you know what blogs I think deserve this award.  You may have already heard about them and have been reading them for a while but these blogs are newly discovered by yours truly.

* Michelle from Twentynine

* Celeste from Alphabet Soup

Happy reading and thanks again Erin!

wild animal?

As a preface I want you to know that we went to the zoo yesterday.

So their mom is a doctor and wants the boys to know that "proper" term for body parts.  That is not to say that they don't have silly terms for some silly parts.  Peepeedonger?  Now that's freakin' funny!  Anyhoo...she was teaching them the "right" word for lady bits.  And they made up some silly rhyme about taking a vagina to China.

This morning -

Mom:  Tell Jessica what girl parts are called

Whiny Magee:  a hyena!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

in case it gets cold

Today the boys were going to go to karate so I was getting them ready.  Besides their karate outfits - which is actually called a gi- they also have a t-shirt with the dojo name (Look at me throwing out all these proper karate names). I told the boys to go up and get their t-shirts and come down to get dressed.  Whiny Magee said he couldn't find his shirt and then I remembered that they were probably dirty from last week since I haven't done the boys' laundry this week yet. So Master of Disaster is upstairs "looking" for his shirt.  Oh boy, this could be interesting.  I go to check on him and fish through the hamper for his gi pants.  When I got to his room I found him very carefully looking through his shirts in the closet, gently sliding each shirt over once he realizes it's not his karate shirt.  I grab his pants and tell him to come on down stairs. 

Down he comes with two hangers.  One is a sleeveless t-shirt.  The other one is a sweater vest. 

MofD:  I want to wear this one in case it gets cold (holding up the sweater vest)

Me:   ummmm...let's just get your gi on

MofD:  And now can we put this one on?

Me:  In case you get cold??

MofD:'s like a coat....feel it

Me:  you mine it's like a sweater

MofD:  Yeah.  Can I wear it?

Me:  Well is it cold out?

MofD:  no

Me:  I don't think you need it.  But we can bring it just in case it gets cold.

Monday, August 15, 2011

old fashioned

Whiny Magee was showing me his "toy camera".  He wanted to show me what happened if you pushed "the arrow button."  Well,when you push the arrow button the back opens up and you could put in, if you had any, real film.  He thought it was all so very cool and then he told me that "this is an old fashioned camera, my dad told me that."


Thursday, August 11, 2011

it's not really funny. . .

. . .but be glad it wasn't you.

So after nap Master of Disaster, believe it or not, was a beast.  He didn't want to wake up so I let him sleep for about 30 more minutes then I made him get out of bed.  He cried the whole way downstairs and continued to cry while I sat him down for snack.  Whiny Magee had already eaten and was watching Sesame Street. I told MofD that once I was done cleaning the kitchen I was going into the living room.  I hoped this would prompt him to eat faster, a girl can dream right?  He just sat there and cried and said over and over that he "wanted his mom."  Awesome!

So I'm watching TV with WM, when MofD went running by to use the bathroom. And then. . .I heard it.  It was awful.  I knew right away I was in for some trouble.  Then I heard:

MofD:  crying I thought I just had to pee.

Poor kid.  He totally sharted. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Master of Disaster: Jess, what do you have for lunch today?

Me: Potatoes

MofD:  Oh.  What's on them?

Me:  They're called Au Gratin

MofD:  How'd they get rotten?  Why you eating them?

Monday, August 8, 2011


Scene:  It's nap and we're in Master of Disaster's room and his bed has three bed rails on it

Me:  If I need to come up here for any reason during nap, it will not be good for you

MofD:  But what if I fall out of bed?

Me:  You won't

the list

I'm not exactly sure where it came from but the boys, their mom and I all say "you're on my list" when someone is doing something that makes us angry.  I think it came from a movie and their mom and I both know we are referring to our "shit list" when we say it. 

So today they boys were being PITAs (Pains in the Ass) during lunch and they were not eating and they were fooling around.  The Master of Disaster always has problems during lunch but Whiny Magee is usually really good.  So I say to WM:  "You're getting to be on my list"

MofD:  Not me Jess?

Me:  Oh you are already there

MofD:  Where?

Me:   ummmmm my list

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

car conversations rock!

On the way back from picking up Master of Disaster at half-day camp.

MofD: Jess who has sharper teeth an alligator or a shark?

Me:  I don't know

MofD:  Tell me Jess

Me:  I don't's a mystery.  Who do you think does??

MofD:  I don't know. . can you tell me?

Me:  No I can't because I don't know

MofD:  Alligators have very sharp teeth!

Me:  Yes they do.  Sharper than a shark?

MofD:  I don't know.  Sharks have sharp teeth too. . .I think a shark has sharper teeth

Me:  Ok

MofD:  Or maybe an alligator

And then we continued to talk about how sharks and alligators don't actually live in the same areas so it's very hard to compare.  But of course, because need to tell them the truth about everything, I proceed to tell him that sharks and alligators will bite you if you go near them.  But only because they think we are food, not because they are being mean (duh!). 

MofD:  If a shark nibbles on me, I'll be ok because I'm rough and tough.  I'll just go get a band-aid.

On the way to get Whiny Magee from full-day camp

MofD:  You know that my dad saw on the news???!!!

Me:  What?

MofD:  They are putting fries AND apples in there now!!! (luckily I'm somewhat current with news and knew he was talking about McDonald's)

Me:  WOW! That's so cool

MofD:  Yeah they are building that right now!!

Me:  Building what?

MofD:  I don't know

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

perks of nannydom

So today during nap, I was on FB and I saw that Dollop-a local cupcake shop-had free passes to the sneak preview of The Change-Up.  The movie was tonight at 7.  The first person I thought of was my friend BC.  She is the most bargain-y person I know and is *always* getting free stuff.  She also is very giving with her free stuff and I have been on the receiving end many many times.  So away I texted and lo and behold she can come tonight (her husband is great like that).

I wake up the Master of Disaster and BabyGirl (early I might add) and off we go to get cupcakes and a free movie pass.  I love that I have a job where that is possible. 

I'll be seeing you tonight boys!


So I think I may hove come up with some nicknames for the boys.  I think from now on A will be referred to as Master of Disaster and J will be Whiny Magee.   Do these names seem a tad mean?  I don't want to be the mean bossy nanny but those names fit very well with the kids' personalities. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

as my mother would say Holy Craparoni!!

I am in for a world of hurt!! 

One of my current favorite naptime time wasters is Rants from Mommyland!  It's a hysterical blog about the joys of mommydom (as if you couldn't've figured that one out on your own).  I just read this post. . . and OMG.  I knew once BabyGirl became mobile life, as I know it, would be over.  Thankfully she has no desire to start crawling yet; so I'm safe. . .for now. 

*  spell check suggested "agglutinative" and "goaltenders" for couldn't've.  Now I'm going to look up agglutinative. 

*ag·glu·ti·na·tive adj.
Concerning or characteristic of agglutination (really?? that's the definition??)

1. the action of an agglutinant substance.
2. the process of union in wound healing.
3. the clumping together in suspension of antigen-bearing cells, microorganisms, or particles in the presence of specific antibodies

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


The boys and I were playing Uno today.  I will say that playing Uno with a 3, 4 & 5 year olds is really fun and I suggest anyone who has the chance should *totally* take the time and teach young kids how to play.  It's not hard to teach at all.  It's really a lot like crazy 8s.  Be prepared, most kids play open handed (with all their cards out on the floor) so it's really hard to decide if you should A) cheat to win or B) cheat lose to booster esteem.  I have found a nice middle.  I usually don't cheat to win but I do play the best hand I have but I also guide the kids through their hand.  J has learned to play with his hand closed, A is just figuring out how to play. 

A only has two cards left: a wild and a yellow.  He has a red card to play on. 

Me:  Ok, you have a wild and a yellow. . .what do you want to do?  What card can you play?

A:  puts down the wild and looks at me

Me:  What is that card?

A:  a wild

Me: what do you get to do now?

A:  pick a color?

Me:  yep. . . what color do you want to play

A: blue! (that's his favorite color)

Me:  A,  you have a wild and a yellow, what do you want to play?

A:  a blue

Me:  A. . . do you have a blue?

A:  no

Me:  so can you play a blue?

A:  no

Me:  What can you play?

A:  a yellow

Me:  so what color should you play now?

A:  yellow

Me:  good job


* if you try to teach Uno make sure to take out the "special" cards:  skip, reverse, draw 2 and draw makes it hard to teach but once they get really good at Uno you can start to add them slowly on "special" card type at a time.

chiropractor Wednesdays

A: Jess your back is hurt-ting (that's how he has hurting) very badly

Me:  ummm no it's not

A: well sister is very heavy

Me:  Yes she is

A:  She's just a little baby

I think he was implying that I'm a wuss.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

end of vacation

I have been on vacation for the past 11 days.  And I am anticipating tomorrow being awful.  However that's not the reason for this post.  I want to give the boys nicknames to use in my posts.  I am tired of writing A and J. Sometimes I get confused when I use A because I read it as "a" and then the sentence doesn't make sense so I know you guys might be confused.

Any suggestions are welcome.  I know my bosses sometimes call A the Master of Disaster; so that is a possibility.  I'll keep you posted with my ideas and see what you think.  And since only Michelle, Celeste & Erin  have ever commented on my blog I'm not expecting much. 

*I'm not really sure why the back ground to the words are white.  But I don't really feel like trying to fix it...sorry

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Me:  What do you want for dinner nuggets or cheeseburger?

A:  cheeseburger with nuggets

Me:  which one?

A:  cheeseburger with some nuggets

Me:  A you only get one...which do you want?

A: I want both

Me:  You can only get one.  Nuggets or cheeseburger?

A:  But I am so hungry that I need both

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


If you're your a regular reader than you know that A likes to talk about his poop.  Its shape.  Its size. All of it is fair game.  I was in the kitchen, washing a dish when I heard

A:  Jess I went poop!

Me:  Are you finished?  Sometimes he will call me in to the bathroom before he is done and makes me stand there and wait. 

A:  Yeah,  I just went two rabbit poops.

Me:  What?!

A:  I just went two little rabbit poops.  That's what you call little poops...rabbit poops

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

what happened?

There is a movie theater in town that shows $1 kid's movies on Tuesday and Wednesdays all summer.  They are all older ones, but it is still nice to get out of the house and do something.  So today we went to see How to Train Your Dragon.  The boys own it, so they have seen it many many many times before.  Which is good.  If any of you have watched a movie with a child who has never seen it before, you know they ask questions non-stop.  But, alas, A did ask questions throughout the entire movie, even though he knew all the answers. one point he says to me "ow!  kiss my finger."  So I kiss it only to realize that his finger is dripping with spit.

Me:  Eww!  Did you lick your finger?

A: no

Me:  Why is it all wet?  Don't put your fingers in your mouth.  What happened?

A:  My teeth bit my finger

Monday, July 11, 2011

say wha???

A has what I like to call the 3 year old speech impediment.   It's mostly blends he has trouble with.  And that is not uncommon for 3-5 year olds.   Most times I can decipher what the hell he is trying to tell me.  Other times....what he says sounds like other words, real words.   Sometimes A wants to put on his "fiderman" (spiderman) costume.  One time he asked me where the "shaper" (scraper) was.  Now if you can figure that out on the first try. . .kudos to you. 

The boys love to play with water and it's nice to give them a job to do so today we were washing some outside toys.  Finally go to their bikes and A says, "We gotta wash our bikes cause Mommy says they are 'effensive'"

Me:  They're what??

A:  Effensive

Me:  They're offensive?

A:  No effensive

It took me awhile, but I finally got it.  Their bikes were expensive.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

and the nanny of the year award goes to. . .

. . .me!!

They belong to a pool and tennis club; and after a week of taking the boys to swim lessons there, I felt comfortable enough with the layout and staff to take them there for a the day.  Neither of the boys can actually swim.  J can touch with no problems and A can just about touch but can't really walk around in the water.  They both hate to get their faces wet or go underwater. I watched them "jump" off the side of the pool with their swim instructor all week. Really it was them holding on to her hands and falling into her. I was having them actually jump off the side of the pool and into my arms.  I contemplated not catching them so they could see that going under isn't all that bad, but I knew doing that would ruin any trust I had built.  So I kept telling them "I'll catch you.  Have I ever dropped you??  Will I start now?"  They both did a good job jumping while holding my hands.  Then A jumped into my arms and we were all excited that he did it and was such a brave boy.  Then what did I do?  I let go of him.  And what did he do?  He sunk to the bottom.  After some major tears, I convinced him that it was such a cool thing.  He got to go underwater. J didn't get to do that.  J was too scared to do that, A was so brave.  He then started to brag to J that he got to go underwater. 

I'll take my trophy now

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

pardon my non sequitur

Heads up: this is not something funny the boys said.

I'm not one for pubic displays of opinions and feelings via social networks. It's your birthday?... I'll stop by your wall.  You just got engaged/married/pregnant? may get a congrats from me.  Gay marriage is legal in my state?...oh I turned around and made it about me getting to wear more pretty dresses to more weddings. 

But I have to get it off my chest how sad and disgusted I am about the Casey Anthony verdict (and side bar: the verdict was the afternoon and wikipedia already updated the page...I'm disgusted by that too).  The boys* aren't even my kids and I would be a complete mess if one of them ever EVER went missing.  If it was on my watch, forgetaboutit.  Even if (and that's a HUGE if) she didn't do it...SHE DIDN'T REPORT HER CHILD MISSING FOR 30 DAYS PEOPLE!!!!!  How can 12 people not see that she deserves to be punished??  I don't get it and that makes me sad.

*and when I say boys I really do mean all the kids, it just that boys and I "do" stuff together and, for now, BabyGirl is just along for the ride

Friday, July 1, 2011

that's not playing!!!!!

The boys were showing me how they could make Eiffel Towers with plastic cups. 

A kept building his too close to BabyGirl and I kept telling him t=that she was going to knock it over.  Finally she did and he got upset

A:  She knocked it over!!!

Me:  I told you she would.  That's what babies do.  She just wants to play.

A:  That's not playing!!! That's knocking over!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011


We went to the zoo today

J:  I can spell Zoo...Z-O-O

Me:  Yep good job

J:  What about the Museum of Play?

Me:  ummmmm what about it?

J:  Does that have a Z in it?

Me:  nope

J:  Why not?

Me:  It just doesn't

Then really quietly I can hear him in the backseat

J:  Mue-ZEE-um.....mue-zee-UM....MUE-zee-um

I was waiting for the "but it sounds like it has a Z."  I was disappointed

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

poor fish

J: Isn't it lucky that we have two dogs?

Me: Sure is

J:  All the fish died.

Me:  Well fish are really hard to keep alive.

J:  Yeah, you need to feed them and change their water....

Me:  Yeah....

J:  I still remember all the names of all the fish I ever had.

Me:  Wow

J:  They all were named J

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

look, there's 2

Let me set the scene for you.  We're in my car on the way home from swim lessons.  A's car seat is in the middle of my back seat. 

A:  (pointing straight in front of him) Look there's two of them!

Me:  What are you pointing at?

A:  At that (still pointing)

Me:  A use your words.  I don't know what you are pointing at

A:  That.  There are two of them

Me:  Two what??

A:  Things that the gas comes out of

Me:  Ummmm....(pointing to my heat vents) do you mean these?

A:  No. Up there.  The things that let the gas out

Me:  I don't know what your talking about

A:  On that car!

It took me a while but I finally figured out that he was talking about the car in front of us.  It had dual exhaust.

**J:  Jess when we were getting into your car I saw writing on another car.

Me:  Oh yeah?

J:  It said J-E-E-P.  I read that

Me:  Do you know what J-E-E-P says?

J:  No

Me:  Well then you didn't actually "read" it.  You read the letters (man, I'm a jerk sometimes).  It says Jeep. 

J:  Oh
Yeah, I read that

I was just kiddin'

So the boys printed up treasure chests from the TV show Jake and the Neverland Pirates (which is awesome because it's about pirates!! and I love me some pirates!!).  J came downstairs and told me that he found he this treasure chest buried in the back yard.  Inside there are "gold abloons."  Well we counted them and A had  8 and J only had 6. 

J:  Hey A has more than me!!

Me:  Well where are the rest of yours?

J:  Hey I know where we can get some more

Me:  Oh yeah? Where?

J: At disney jr dot com "flash" summer!! (I'm not joking he actually said that)

Me:  huh

J:  I was kiddin' when I told you that I found that in the back yard.  We printed them up off the computer.  And at it's going on all summer!  Isn't that cool?
Then then proceeded to "hide" their treasure chests.  "Hiding" consisted of wandered around the room with their eyes "shut" and putting it down somewhere.  Then they opened their eyes and say in deep growl-y pirate-y voices "Where's my treasure?!"
I have a feeling they are going to make me one tonight.

Monday, June 27, 2011

too much TV

J:  Jess did you know there was a new Phineas & Ferb movie?

Me:  no

J:  There is.  I saw commercials for it...have you seen the commercials?

Me:  Nope

J:  Why not?

Me:  Well I don't actually watch the Disney channel a lot.

J:  Why  not?

Me:  It's not really for adults

J:  Oh....well it's called Phineas & Ferb Across the 2nd Dimension!!! And they say that there are "robots all over the tri-state area"!!

Me:  do you even know what that means?

J:  There are big black robots everywhere

Me:  close enough

He continued to quote the commercials to me which makes me believe that he has seen them many many times. 

Friday, June 24, 2011


A:  Jess do you know what a coyotian is?

Me:  A coyotian???

A:  yeah

Me:  No, I have no idea what a coyotian is?

A:  a wild dog (said in a "duh!" voice)

That was a few days ago and then yesterday he kept talking about the coyotians.  I have no idea a) where he heard about coyotes or b) why he is referring to them as coyotians.

Wile E Coyotian

Thursday, June 23, 2011

keep it safe

A:  Jess will you keep my Superman shirt safe? (we took it off to paint earlier)

Me:  Keep it safe? 

A: yeah

Me: Keep it safe from who?

A:  Bad guys!

Me: Keep it safe from bad guys?  Do you think bad guys will take it?

A:  Yeah they take everything!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

the joys of rain

So today, being Wednesday and all, we went to the chiropractors.  And of course, since it's the first day of summer and we live in upstate NY, it's raining.  Getting 3 kids loaded into a car in steady rain was not my idea of a fun morning.  But we managed with little problems other than I made like 7 trips with my umbrella (which really isn't a problem, it's just annoying).  On the way out of the office it was only slightly sprinkling so I told the boys to run to the car while I followed with BabyGirl.

Me:  Hurry I don't want your sister to get wet.

A: scrambling into the car  I hurried so sister wouldn't drowned!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

do you need_______? & just tell me

Yesterday we went on one of our wonderful adventures.  Usually this means we go to Target to wander around and pick up somethings that I probably need (and a whole bunch of things I probably don't).  So the only thing I needed yesterday was a surge protector, but we ended up getting that and some funny cards and some eye makeup remover and a book to help A write his letters.  Not too bad compared to some trips.  So as we were walking away from the "outdoor/summer fun" section, I remember that there was something else that I needed but I couldn't remember exactly what it was (that's so like me). 

Me:  I can't remember what else I needed

A:  Do you need a grill?

Me:  hmmmm...nope

A:  Do you need a picnic basket?

Me:  nope

A: Do you need a chair?

Me:  nope, don't think so

If you haven't figured it out A was walking along next to me looking at stuff in the aisles seeing if that's what I needed.  If you have ever gone shopping with me, you know I do the same exact thing just to be a smart ass.  But it was so cute that he was trying to help me remember. 

Today we went to the Museum of Play and had a blast.  They have a membership so we can go whenever and we usually only stay a few hours or so.  On the way back I accidentally I got into the left urn only lane when I wanted to turn right.  I have no idea why, I've gotten off at the exit before. I guess I wasn't thinking.

Me:  Oh crud (and yes I actually said crud)

J:  What happened?

Me:  I got in the wrong lane...I don't want to turn here

J: How are we going to get home?

Me:  Well I'll just go up here and turn around.  No biggie.

A:  Jess, why did you turn this way?

Me:  I don't know

A:  Tell me why you made a wrong turn

Me:  A, I don't know why I did

A:  Just tell me why you turned wrong!

Me:  A....I didn't mean to, it was an accident.

A:  How does your car turn?

Me:  I turn it with my wheel...

I think he finally gave up on the fact that he wasn't going to find out why I made a wrong turn

Thursday, June 16, 2011

hogged up

We are eating lunch right now and J was talking about how now there are 5 people in the family when there use to be 4. 

J:  When Pickle (which is what they call Babygirl) gets to be a big girl she will sit in that chair over there.

Me:  yep

J:  Then the chairs will be all hogged up.

Me:  You mean they will be full?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I have no idea what exactly they were playing but all I heard was

J:  Looks like we hit the jack box!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Catie Copley

Today we went to Target and Michael's to get some craft supplies for Father's Day.  The boys each got a stuffed Catie Copley when they were in Boston.  Of course, they needed to come with us on our adventure to Target.  When we were walking in J remembered that he had left his in my car. 

Me:  Why don't we just leave Catie in the car...she can keep it safe.

J:  ok

Me:  That way no one will want to take my car because there is a dog in there.

A:  No one will take your's too big!

Now I'm guessing he meant that no one could pick up my car and take it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

tastes like....

Every now and again I'll pretend to take a bite out of one of the kids.  Usually it's their arm and I always tell them they taste like chicken.  The boys have started doing it back, it's stinkin' cute.  And they all have these blankie things and they call them nah-nahs**.  I have no idea where nah-nah came from but that's what they are.  So long story short (hopefully but probably not) J use to suck and chew on his when they took away his pacifier.  They (my bosses) are hoping that BabyGirl will do the same thing so she will stop waking up in the middle of the night crying for her binkie. 

A's nah-nah


So anyhoo...BabyGirl was chewing on hers the other day and I asked her if it tasted like chicken.  A then said maybe it tastes "like rooster!" 

Me:  What's a rooster? (now I know what a rooster is in case you were wondering but I always ask the boys what things are when I suspect they have no clue and this once again goes back to my theory.)

A:  ummmm..........that thing we ate on Easter

Me:  laughing I think that was turkey...we don't usually eat roosters?

A:  What is a rooster?

Me: It's a boy chicken.

A:  Why don't we eat them?

Me: I don't know but we just don't

They all went to Boston last night so I have the rest of the week off (PAID--woohoo!!!!) so I won't have anything funny to write...check back next week

**  nah-nahs are awesome baby shower gifts.  They are small enough to be carried around and not be drug on the floor and they fit in a backpack nicely for day care or trips.  And they are washable!  They also have larger sized ones that actually look like a blanket but I LOVE the little ones.

Monday, June 6, 2011


So they are going to Boston this week.  I'm not sure if they are going tomorrow night or Wednesday morning...all I know is that I have Wed, Thur, Fri off this week.  So my boss asked if I could help the boys pick out clothes to pack.  I have been letting them pick out their own clothes hoping they will become more independent and learn how to match clothes.  It's been pretty funny so far.  Today, for example, J is wearing a red and yellow tie dye with blue, red and yellow plaid shorts.  He looks fantabulous. 

J was really into picking out his own clothes but A needs a lot of redirection and prompts.  I had the boys pick out one "nice" outfit.  A "nice" outfit for the boys consists of a button shirt with a collar and a tie.  They LOVE ties!!!  So I told A to find a shirt with buttons and a collar.  He then held up two shirts that were the same just different colors, looked at me and said, "Which one do you like best?"  I told him I liked the blue one.  He said, "then I'll just put this one back."  How cute, he wanted my opinion. 

When we started I was trying to explain to J what an outfit was.  I described my clothes: little white shirt (cardi), green shirt and jeans.  And told him that all your clothes were an outfit and that we needed to pick out 5 outfits for Boston.  When it was A's turn I told him to go pick out some jammies.  He asked what jammies were and I wanted to say are you kidding me are you a ra-tard!!??? but I did not.  I said,"A, what are jammies??"  He said, "white shirt, green shirt and jeans" At least me was listening to me..

Friday, June 3, 2011

another funny bit I forgot

In front of the house they have this "garden."  And I guess for all intents and purposes it is a garden.  It has a little stone path that is SO unnecessary and it has flowers and some bushes,  They recently planted some tomatoes and A LOVES his "maytos."  So today he wanted to show me the garden (as if I have never seen the front of their house before). 

A:  Look here is a pretty flower that smells so nice (roses) and here is our maytos and our salad.  We can just come out here if we want maytos or salad. 

Now I am assuming that it is lettuce that they planted and not salad since salad isn't something you can actually plant.  But you know what they say when you assume.

a bunch of funny bits

At breakfast the boys tried some Fruity Pebbles and decided they were great

A:  I eat everything!

Me: oh yeah?

A:  yeah!  But not lobster!

Me:  Not lobster?  Have you ever had lobster?

A:  No it's yucky

Me:  Lobster is delicious

A:  Grammy and Pop have king lobster

**In the car after the bank and post office

A:  Jess can you open your sun roof?...Jess the weather man was wrong!! 

Me:  He was wrong? 

A:  Yeah, look at that blue sky! It's not going to rain!

Me: Was it suppose to rain?

A: The weather man said it was going to rain...he was wrong!  Why is the weather man always wrong?