Friday, September 30, 2011


Master of Disaster:  Wanna hear something?  It's really annoying.

It totally reminded me of Dumb & Dumber

Thursday, September 29, 2011

My mind is so dirty

Me: Guys we can't leave balloons on the ground.  They are a big choking hazard for sister (and yes we call her sister, not your sister).

Whiny Magee:  Oh I got a big choking hazard over here!

These pretzels are making me thirsty

Master of Disaster:  These cheerios are salty and are making my tongue salty.

Me: what??

Master of Disaster:  These cheerios are salty and are making my tongue salty so I have to take a drink

Me:  Those cheerios are salty?

Master of Disaster:  yeah...they are salty so I have to take a drink because they are making it hot

Me: ooooookkkkaayyyy

about 5 minutes later

Master of Disaster (showing me his almost empty bowl): Jess can I be full now?

Me:   yes you can be done

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Oh, Master of Disaster

**Today I was being outsmarted by a Handy Manny toy.  I was trying to get the battery cover thing off so I could put new batteries it in.  Righty tighy, lefty loosey correct?  Apparently not.  I was more like righty tighty, lefty still tighty.  But when I went to go get the screw drive Master of Disaster said, "That's my dad's new tool box from a long time ago."

**Then we were taking the clothes out of the washer and putting them into the dryer.

Master of Disaster:  Oh.  Pants.  Long sleeved ones.

**Master of Disaster: wouldn't it be cool if I slid down the railing and flew off the end?

Me:  ah no.  It would be scary and dangerous.

MofD:  not if I had flying powers.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Me:  Master of Disaster, your gi is filthy!

Master of Disaster:  what's on it?

Me:  I don't know but it's really dirty.

ModD:  How do you think it got dirty?

Me:  I don't know, how do *you* think it did?

MofD:  Maybe it's crayon (FYI it's totally not crayon, it's just a bunch of dirt)

Me:  How did crayon get on your gi?

MofD:  Maybe someone colored on it

Me:  Who would color on *your* gi?

MofD:  Maybe someone who didn't know it was a gi and not paper

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

you have to go to your own school

We were driving in the car to take Master of Disaster to school.

Master of Disaster:  That's Whiny Magee's school.  We had a pizza party there once.

Me:  You did?!

Master of Disaster:  Yeah they had cookies too

Me:  Did you save any cookies for me??

MofD:  The party is over

Me:  Yeah, but did you save me any cookies to eat?

MofD: no

Me:  Why not?

MofD:  Well maybe your school will have a pizza party, then you can have some cookies.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Not again!!

Master of Disaster:  Jess can we play Candyland?

Me:  No

Master of Disaster: Why not?

Me: Uh, what happened last time we played?

Master of Disaster:  You cheated

Up high! Down Low!

Master of Disaster and I "playing" that high five "game." 

Me:  Up high! Down Low! In the Middle!  Too slow!!!  bahahahaha!!  Isn't that funny?

Master of Disaster:  Let's do that again

Me:  Up high, down low, in the middle....too slow!  bahahaha!!

Master Of Disaster:  Again. . . but can you go slower?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

where's your proof?

Master of Disaster and I played Candyland this morning.  The boys are both very sore losers.  But that's to be expected of children and we've been working on the concept of "as long as you are having fun it doesn't matter who wins."  A girl can dream.

So we played and I won.  Master of Disaster tells me that I cheated.  I hope you are remembering Candyland correctly, it is kinda hard to cheat at it.

Me:  What do you mean I cheated?  How did I cheat?

MofD:  You won the game.

So apparently the only proof this 3 year old needs is that I won and he is pissed about it.  We then got into an epic Battle of the Wills (which I, of course, also won).

Monday, September 12, 2011


Me:  Hey look at all these mushrooms!

Whiny Magee:  yeah, blah blah somethingIcan'thearorunderstand

Me:  huh?

Whiny Magee: I said I don't want to smoosh them because I don't know if we have Smurfs.  Smurfs live in mushrooms ya know

Thursday, September 8, 2011

"playing" just got less fun

Master of Disaster and I are are playing with Nerf guns with suction cup tipped "bullets."  And for awhile it was fun because Master of Disaster would go and get my bullets for me.  So I was very happy to play if that meant I wouldn't have to get off my lazy tush and I could continue to read through my daily blog routine.  Then about 10 minutes into "playing" he looked at me and said. "you have to get your own bullets."

It got fun again when I taught him that you could stick the bullets to your forehead.  Good times!

+/*+96036 <-----courtesy of BabyGirl

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

how'd they get so smart

Me:  Master of Disaster, eat your lunch

MofD:  I don't like it.  It's yuck.  What is it?

Me: It's ravioli.  It's like spaghetti-os.

MofD:  Yuck, I don't like them

Me:  Yes you do.

MofD:  I don't like them.

Me:  Eat them.  You do to like them.

MofD:  Have you ever seen me eat them??

Me:  Damn it just eat your lunch!

Friday, September 2, 2011

really??. . .Really?

Sometimes when Whiny Magee  talks, I don't really listen.  I nod and say "mm-hmm" and "oh yeah" and "wow" a lot.   He has been going on and on lately about some Burger King kid's meal prize that he has lost.  He has been "looking all over the house" for it and just can't seem to find it.  He has been talking about it for a few days and I have been tuning him out; that is until I hear "too bad it doesn't have a tracking device."  What???

Me:  huh

Whiny Magee:  That Burger King toy I've been looking for.  Too bad it doesn't have a tracking device in it.  That way I'd know where it was.

Now the best part about this story is what the toy actually is.  It was from last year, first of all.  So how or why he even remembers it I haven't a clue. First, I'd like to describe it and then I'll put up a pic.  The "toy," and I use this word loosely, is about 6 inches in diameter (which of course means it's a circle).  On side is red and one side is black. The red side is "etched" to look like a family crest and the black side I believe has some sort of tribal "etching."  If you pull on the opposite sides, it comes apart to reveal a "scroll."  Get ready for your mind to be blown!!!!

What were you thinking BK??
That's right, it was a Twilight prize.  The family crest was the Cullen crest and the tribal "etching" was Jacob's tattoo (I think).  This is was Whiny Magee has been pining over.  Seriously kid??  A) He doesn't even know who these people are and B)  it doesn't actually do anything.  What a crappy prize.  But I think it's really all my fault.  When we got the kid's meals, they came with different prizes.  Whiny Magee's was this and he was disappointed, so I talked it up.  Wait until you see what Master of Disaster got.  His prize is still kicking around because he had on yesterday.  Ya ready for another mind blowing??

Oh my God, it's Edward.  He's so dreamy

Master of Disaster got this ring.  That's right, it's a ring! Holy awesome ring Batman!  And that picture is holographic.  Is your mind successfully blown!?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

heard but not seen

Today we went to the Museum of Play.  If you have never heard of the MofP, you're missing out.  It is literally dedicated to play.  Everything is hands on.  The National Toy Hall of Fame is there and it is awesome to go look at all the old toys.  It dawned on me this morning that school starts next week, so we will not have time to do all the fun outing that we normally do.  So off we went to the MofP.  They have a membership there so it doesn't cast me anything to take them.  And if we only stay an hour of two, it isn't a waste of money. 

So we are walking into the museum; I'm walking ahead with the stroller and the boys are following.  From behing all I hear is a loud BANG.  I turn around and realize that Master of Disaster wasn't really paying attention and walked into the floor to ceiling window that is next to the automatic door.  I wish I actually saw it.