Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I should really start paying attention

On the way to karate the boys were talking about what kind of cars they're going to build.  I'm pretty sure it all started from  something that my car didn't/couldn't do, but I don't remember exactly what.  I really wasn't paying attention to them (which is kinda a recurrent theme in my days).  Every now and again I'd say "wow" or "that's cool"; it really didn't matter what they actually said.  Here are a few bits that I did catch:

*  my car is going to have five spare tires, so I can have an extra for someone else

*  my car is going to have a shooter thing so you can hang Christmas lights high up on your house (there was also something about shooter thing and a chimney)

*  if there is an accident, my car is going to be able to lift up over all the cars

*  my car is going to have a vacuum to suck up bits of pointy metal in the road

I'm sure I missed plenty of wonderful car inventions, I'll try to pay closer attention when they are talking nonsense in the back.

Friday, December 16, 2011

he *is* the reason for the season

So my bosses have been trying to teach Master of Disaster that it's not ok to say God or Jesus unless you're praying.  This has turned out to bite us all in the ass.  Now, if he hears you say either one he will ask if you were praying.  If you say no, he'll tell you that it's not nice to say God/Jesus unless you're praying.  If you say yes, he'll ask you what you're praying for.  And we all usually turn what ever we were saying "God" about into a prayer:  I was praying that the car in front of us would speed up.

So today he was playing with a train that runs around the Christmas tree (yes they actually have a Christmas train) and it kept getting stuck in the back of the tree and I kept having to crawl back there to fix it.  Finally I told him this was the last time I would fix it.  As I'm attempting to crawl out from behind the tree I said "oh jeez"  and I know I said "oh jeez" because I said it like I was from Minnesota.  Then I hear MofD whisper "oh Jesus."

Me:  What'dya say?

MofD:  I said what you said

Me:  What did I say?

MofD:  you said "oh Jesus"

Me:  No I said "oh jeez"

MofD:  Oh.  I was praying.

Me trying not to laugh in his face:  What were you praying for?

MofD:  that the train wouldn't get stuck

Monday, December 12, 2011

not even one bit!!

Master of Disaster:  Jess can you put his fireman coat on me?

Me:  Sure come here

Master of Disaster:  I want you to come here

Me:  That's not gonna happen.  You come here

Master of Disaster:  I won't come there

Me:  Well then I guess you won't get your coat on then huh?

This went on for like 5 minutes, seriously.  Then BabyGirl scooted over to the stairs which was about halfway between MofD and me.  So I had to go over in get her because that girl can climb those stairs pretty fast.

Master of Disaster:  You're coming over here now

Me:  I'm getting your sister

Master of Disaster:  That's not fair!!!  Not even one bit!!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

another one

I made a mix of cheerios, chocolate chips and marshmallows for snack today

Master of Disaster:  Jess these marshmallows taste differenter than the chocolate chips.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

an actual conversation

Me:  Whiny Magee, do you want cheese on your turkey sandwich?

WM:  Yeah!

Me:  come you want a slice of cheese or this kind I'm holding a bag of shredded cheese

Whiny Magee:  a slice of cheese

Me:  ok

WM:  What are we having for lunch?

Me: uhhh turkey sandwiches

WM:  I want cheese on mine

Thanks Capt. Obvious

Whiny Magee goes to a half day kindergarten but on Mondays he goes back to school to have "Science Club."  Great in theory, but it's a lot of work (loading and unloading two extra children -twice-one of whom is a baby that needs to be carried) for me just so he can be there for an hour. But anyhoo...when we went back to get him the only parking spot I could find was really close to the car next to me.  I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to buckle the boys in car, it was *that* close.  I even contemplated getting them in the car and then moving to a more open spot in the parking lot.  But luckily the car next to was getting ready to leave the same time we were.  I even saw the lady start to give me a dirty look for parking so close (and trust me it was tight on both sides I wasn't being a jerk) then she saw I had three kids, all of whom needed to be in a car seat unlike her and her 10 year old.  I had Master of Diasater climb across the seat from BabyGirl's side but then the other car left, Whiny Magee and I walked around to that side.  I opened the door:

MofD:  Jess!! I have good news!!

Me: Oh yeah?  What's that?

MofD:  That other car leaved! Now you can open the door!

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Ok so this is not the first time that this has happened, I just haven't posted about it.  But now it's gone too far.

So Master of Disaster was pointing out states on the map and asking me what they were.  Luckily the posted was labeled so I seemed so smart.  Then we went on to the Solar System poster. He pointed to Jupiter and I said "that's Jupiter."  Jupiter, by the way, is apparently red-ish in color.

MofD:  No!  That's mars

Me:  No it's Jupiter.

MofD:  It's red.  Mars is big and red.

Me:  Well Mars is red, your right. But it's small and red

MofD:  No it's big and red.  I know that.  When we were there it was big and red WHAT?

Me:  When you were there?

MofD:  Yeah, it was big and red

Now this is what I was talking about when I said this was not the first time.  He has talked about when he went to Mars several times before.  And not in the-funny-story kind of way.  In the I-actually-went-there-and-I-can-tell-you-all-about-it way.  I don't know where he went that he thought was Mars or maybe he dreamed it, but he honest to goodness thinks he went to Mars.  And not just him, the whole family went.  There's no convincing him otherwise.  So don't try.  However, I have some issues with letting him call me wrong.  I was right dammit!!

MofD:  I'm right, I just know that

Me:  MofD, that's Jupiter.

MofD:  No, it's Mars

Me:  Fine you can think that, but you'll be wrong What's wrong with me!!?? He's 3!