not even one bit!!

Master of Disaster:  Jess can you put his fireman coat on me?

Me:  Sure come here

Master of Disaster:  I want you to come here

Me:  That's not gonna happen.  You come here

Master of Disaster:  I won't come there

Me:  Well then I guess you won't get your coat on then huh?

This went on for like 5 minutes, seriously.  Then BabyGirl scooted over to the stairs which was about halfway between MofD and me.  So I had to go over in get her because that girl can climb those stairs pretty fast.

Master of Disaster:  You're coming over here now

Me:  I'm getting your sister

Master of Disaster:  That's not fair!!!  Not even one bit!!!

another one

I made a mix of cheerios, chocolate chips and marshmallows for snack today

Master of Disaster:  Jess these marshmallows taste differenter than the chocolate chips.

an actual conversation

Me:  Whiny Magee, do you want cheese on your turkey sandwich?

WM:  Yeah!

Me:  come here.....do you want a slice of cheese or this kind I'm holding a bag of shredded cheese


Whiny Magee:  a slice of cheese

Me:  ok

WM:  What are we having for lunch?

Me: uhhh turkey sandwiches

WM:  I want cheese on mine

Thanks Capt. Obvious

Whiny Magee goes to a half day kindergarten but on Mondays he goes back to school to have "Science Club."  Great in theory, but it's a lot of work (loading and unloading two extra children -twice-one of whom is a baby that needs to be carried) for me just so he can be there for an hour. But anyhoo...when we went back to get him the only parking spot I could find was really close to the car next to me.  I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to buckle the boys in car, it was *that* close.  I even contemplated getting them in the car and then moving to a more open spot in the parking lot.  But luckily the car next to was getting ready to leave the same time we were.  I even saw the lady start to give me a dirty look for parking so close (and trust me it was tight on both sides I wasn't being a jerk) then she saw I had three kids, all of whom needed to be in a car seat unlike her and her 10 year old.  I had Master of Diasater climb across the seat from BabyGirl's side but then the other car left, Whiny Magee and I walked around to that side.  I opened the door:

MofD:  Jess!! I have good news!!

Me: Oh yeah?  What's that?

MofD:  That other car leaved! Now you can open the door!

delusions??

Ok so this is not the first time that this has happened, I just haven't posted about it.  But now it's gone too far.

So Master of Disaster was pointing out states on the map and asking me what they were.  Luckily the posted was labeled so I seemed so smart.  Then we went on to the Solar System poster. He pointed to Jupiter and I said "that's Jupiter."  Jupiter, by the way, is apparently red-ish in color.

MofD:  No!  That's mars

Me:  No it's Jupiter.

MofD:  It's red.  Mars is big and red.

Me:  Well Mars is red, your right. But it's small and red

MofD:  No it's big and red.  I know that.  When we were there it was big and red WHAT?


Me:  When you were there?

MofD:  Yeah, it was big and red

Now this is what I was talking about when I said this was not the first time.  He has talked about when he went to Mars several times before.  And not in the-funny-story kind of way.  In the I-actually-went-there-and-I-can-tell-you-all-about-it way.  I don't know where he went that he thought was Mars or maybe he dreamed it, but he honest to goodness thinks he went to Mars.  And not just him, the whole family went.  There's no convincing him otherwise.  So don't try.  However, I have some issues with letting him call me wrong.  I was right dammit!!

MofD:  I'm right, I just know that

Me:  MofD, that's Jupiter.

MofD:  No, it's Mars

Me:  Fine you can think that, but you'll be wrong What's wrong with me!!?? He's 3!

too quiet

Both boys are slightly obsessed with Angry Birds.  When I walked into work today they both were so happy to show me their new stuffed Angry Birds.  Blue and red, of course.  So Master of Disaster was playing Angry Birds with his stuffed bird and using his chair like a building he was destroying.  We also had a discussion about why the pigs were the mean ones if the birds were the ones knocking down the houses.  I insisted that maybe the birds were the bad guys and he said the pigs were.  I thought I had more proof to back up my claims he disagreed.  MofD replied "I just know that cuz I play Angry Birds!"  Apparently that is proof enough.

So it was really quiet in the living and I realized my pancake helper was gone.  Yep that right, we're making pancakes *again* I told you they eat them everyday.

This is what I walked into:

??????

what did you say?

Master of Disaster and I are doing a letter workbook.  We are on the letter "E."  MofD makes the middle line of the E really long and it took up almost all the room on the page.

Me:  Ok make another one.

MofD:  That line "fogged" up the whole thing! Remember he says everything with a speech impediment

Me:  What did it do???

MofD:  It fogged up the page.

It took me a minute to realize that he was not dropping an F-bomb; he was really saying "fogged up."  I don't know why both boys say "fogged up;" it's almost a combination of full and hogged.