Does that sound easy

Master of Disaster:  Jess, can you make a fire?

Me:  Do I ever make fires here?

MofD:  No

Me:  Well. I don't think I'm going to start today.  And I don't even really know how to start a fire

MofD:  First you put some wood in.  It needs to be really really big and it goes across.  Then you put some crushed up paper in.  And you put sparks in it.  And it sparks.  And then you put something in the corners.  And then you have to close that cabinets.  Does that sound easy?

Me:  Not really

MofD:  It sounds easy to me.

********
MofD wanted some hot chocolate, so we made some.  He likes creamer in his cocoa.  I always do half creamer/milk and half cocoa; that way it's not too hot.  He asked me if I was going to put creamer in my coffee and I said that I don't like creamer in it.  He then told me that his parent's do. But "Mommy is trying to lose weight so she only likes a little" but that "daddy likes a lot.  Maybe he is trying to get more weight"

Just like in Dad's show

I was telling the boys that when I go back to school my friend was going to be coming over to play with them.  She has two daughters and we have gotten together for play dates a bunch of times.  So I wanted to prep them for her.  But I also wanted to make sure that they didn't call her Evie and Mia's Mommy.

Me:  Do you know what Evie and Mia's mommy's name is?

Both boys:  no

Me:  It's Danielle

Whiny:  Oh!  That's just like on the show Daddy watches

Me:  What show is that?

Whiny:  American Pickers

Me:  Burst out laughing What's that show about?  Now I've seen it, I just like to hear what the boys think of things sometimes.  Try it, it's great!


Whiny:  It's about guys who get rusty stuff

Me:  Rusty stuff?  What do they do with it?

Whiny:  Try to give it to people

The funniest thing ever

So Master of Disaster was being mean to BabyGirl the other day and I put him in timeout because of it.  When he came out I asked him why he was there and he told me what he did.  I told him that I was going to have to tell Mommy & Daddy what he was doing and they were going to be mad.  Then, he did the funniest thing ever:  he put his hand up to his face, by his eyes, with two fingers pointing out straight at me.

Me:  What does that mean?

MofD:  in a menacing whisper I got my eye on you

via

I had to turn away before I burst out laughing.  He did it again today to both me and his father.  It's gonna get out real quick but it was too funny the first time

time warp

Introducing the kids to He-man.  Master of Diaster wanted to know why his hair was so long.  This should be interesting.

liar liar

So lately Master of Disaster has decided that he does not like cheese.  This is the same child who would eat grilled cheese every day if I let him.  Then all of a sudden he doesn't like cheese.  Whatever, no biggie.  So he stopped eating grilled cheese; no cheese on his pasta, no cheese on his turkey sandwiches; no cheese sticks.  He will, however, eat mac & cheese and cheese pizza.  He actually loves them.  Whiny Magee loves cheese so I still put cheese on or in his lunch. Yesterday we had turkey sandwiches for lunch: WM with cheese, MofD without

MofD:  Hey!  I don't like cheese!

Me:  I didn't give you any cheese

MofD:  What's that stuff??

Me:  That's WM's lunch

MofD:  Where's mine!?

Me:  umm probably on the other plate at the table

MofD:  oh ok....Jess isn't it weird that Whiny likes cheese and I don't?

Me:  not really.  But I think you are being stubborn.  I think you like cheese

MofD:  No I don't

Me:  You like mac & cheese

MofD:  nope, not anymore

Me: Cheese pizza?

MofD:  not anymore

Me:  Ok so the next time we have pizza just me and Whiny will eat it.

MofD:  Where's the pizza?

Me:  We don't have any today but some day we will

I told his dad about that conversation this morning and he laughed because they had pizza for dinner and MofD ate all his.

I should really start paying attention

On the way to karate the boys were talking about what kind of cars they're going to build.  I'm pretty sure it all started from  something that my car didn't/couldn't do, but I don't remember exactly what.  I really wasn't paying attention to them (which is kinda a recurrent theme in my days).  Every now and again I'd say "wow" or "that's cool"; it really didn't matter what they actually said.  Here are a few bits that I did catch:

*  my car is going to have five spare tires, so I can have an extra for someone else

*  my car is going to have a shooter thing so you can hang Christmas lights high up on your house (there was also something about shooter thing and a chimney)

*  if there is an accident, my car is going to be able to lift up over all the cars

*  my car is going to have a vacuum to suck up bits of pointy metal in the road

I'm sure I missed plenty of wonderful car inventions, I'll try to pay closer attention when they are talking nonsense in the back.

he *is* the reason for the season

So my bosses have been trying to teach Master of Disaster that it's not ok to say God or Jesus unless you're praying.  This has turned out to bite us all in the ass.  Now, if he hears you say either one he will ask if you were praying.  If you say no, he'll tell you that it's not nice to say God/Jesus unless you're praying.  If you say yes, he'll ask you what you're praying for.  And we all usually turn what ever we were saying "God" about into a prayer:  I was praying that the car in front of us would speed up.

So today he was playing with a train that runs around the Christmas tree (yes they actually have a Christmas train) and it kept getting stuck in the back of the tree and I kept having to crawl back there to fix it.  Finally I told him this was the last time I would fix it.  As I'm attempting to crawl out from behind the tree I said "oh jeez"  and I know I said "oh jeez" because I said it like I was from Minnesota.  Then I hear MofD whisper "oh Jesus."

Me:  What'dya say?

MofD:  I said what you said

Me:  What did I say?

MofD:  you said "oh Jesus"

Me:  No I said "oh jeez"

MofD:  Oh.  I was praying.

Me trying not to laugh in his face:  What were you praying for?

MofD:  that the train wouldn't get stuck